What Women Want Today
What Women Want Today

Episode 86 · 3 months ago

Cocktails and Conversation with Jennifer

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Today's episode is a vulnerable look into what goes into friendships

How virtual friendships turn into meaningful relationships in today's world of social media

What attributes do you look for in a friendship? Jennifer & I discuss the ones that are most meaningful for us.

Boundaries in friendship, and when it's time to walk away from a toxic relationship.

And we share some laughs and cocktails. Here is the IG link in case you want to watch the video.

Follow my beautiful friend Jennifer on IG HERE 

Connect with me on INSTAGRAM or FACEBOOK  

You can email me at terri.kellums@gmail.com

What Women Want Today 

*If you haven't left a rating a reivew, would you consider taking a few minutes today?

Hello, and welcome to What Women on Today podcast. You might be asking yourself right about now, well, what do women want? I mean, we're pretty complex creatures, right well, I think we want it all and I'm here to explore it with you. My name is Terry Kellums, I'm your host. Go grab your favorite beverage. I've already got my glass of wine and let's get started. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the podcast. I am so excited to be here with you today. On the podcast, we have been talking about what the experts say are the six elements to you demonic happiness, which is what they consider the most sustainable, lasting kind of happiness. And in episode one we talked about personal growth and how that impacts our happiness. In episode two we talked about the importance of your relationships, and in episode three we touched on self acceptance and the relation and ship you have with yourself. So when it came across today's video and recording of an Instagram live I did with Jennifer, who is known as lemoni connection on Instagram, I thought this f didn't really perfectly with what we were talking about in the relationship episode, So that would have been part two of the series. Jennifer and I had a really fun conversation. We started out sharing some cocktails. I am going to put the link to that Instagram live in the show notes today in case you prefer to watch it on video. We did have some fun and then um we did dive in and we talked about how you can make it safe for someone to be vulnerable in a friendship. We talked about how you can take a virtual friendship and turn it into a mute or excuse me, a meaningful relationship. We talked about our attributes that we seek out when we're looking for someone to be in a close relationship with, and we talked about boundaries and toxic relationships and when you know it's time to kind of walk away from those types of and chips. I hope you enjoyed this very vulnerable, fun and heartful conversation between Jennifer and Night's Day. Let's go ahead and join that episode. Now, Hi, there you are, I'm here, I'm here. Why do you get my ice? I'm like, Oh, I'm gonna miss it. I'm gonna miss it somehow. Oh no, I had hard time getting on it. Wouldn't like it wouldn't let me like go live, so you're had extra thirty seconds. Okay, yeah, we're good. We're good. Wait one more thing, because you know, lighting lady is so important. Okay, I'm gonna fall. It just makes it a little brighter. Okay, I've all sorts of challenges with my location today. Can you see the dead animal hanging above my head? What? Right now? I can't always your husband's Yeah, So, I...

...mean you understand my living situations. I had to find like a spot where I could like set my all my stuff up, and I was like, I am really out of my comfort zone today, Jennifer. You know I had to push you yes, and I'm glad you did because it made me think all sorts of things today. Okay, I have questions. Good for you, and I'm so excited about your questions. But oh girl, you want to see my questions. You're You're in trouble, no I oh, okay, challenge on, sister, Alright, we're ready for so excited. I'm so excited me to me too. We're not we're not actually, I mean, you're not a cocktail person. I'm not a cocktail person. And mostly it's just because I don't like sweet stuff, and I think most of them are sweet, aren't they? But not the one you sent me girl yet. But I'm like, okay, I am a cocktail person. Hi bet how you guys? Are so many people here already? I know there's so many people here, Hello, everybody. I'm gonna have a hard time keeping check of the comments, just because I have the phone a little bit farther away fleaning today. Just the one comment, but a bunch of people who are like in to watch us squirm a little bit here because I know, girl waiting your your cocktail that you sent me is uh like totally out of my comfort zone. This is like the one that I would not order at the restaurant. But it's savory in a way, in a way, right do you have you tried this one? So the funny story about that drink is, um, I met a girlfriend of mine in Vegas and we were going to hang out at the pool for the afternoon, and neither one of us are day drinkers. And you know, we're sitting there for a while and it's getting hot, and the cocktail waitresses coming around, and I said, you know, can we get a menu or what you got to drink, she hands his cocktail menus and we just kind of looked at each other, like, why the hell not, you know, we're in We're in Vegas, you should be. So they had this drink on the on the menu, and when she brought it to me and I tasted it, I said, oh my god, this is too strong. And I said to her, could I have you make this less strong? And she said, you know, and all the time I've been doing this, I don't think I've ever had anybody send me back with a drink. So, because I don't know, are you a Tito fan? You know, I think that that's probably something I would order if I was ordering about could drink, I probably ordered Teetos. Yeah, Grey Goose, I think Great Goose was another one I was kind of familiar with. But you know the thing about it is is it's tough for people like me. You know, here's my SOB story. It's tough when you're just basically a wine drinker and then you go to places and they don't have a big selection of wine. Because I feel like what happens is you kind of become a wine snob over time. Yeah, say, I'm the reverse of you in this, which is cool, be that I am a cocktail Steven and I are cocktail snobs, and...

...so yeah, we'll be I mean, I love wines, Don't get me wrong. I like wine, but you like a dry wine, right, and I'm I do. I like Salvignon blanc. I'm pretty much Pinot Green show once in a great while if they don't have Salvinion blanc. But if they don't, if they have like Shardon may or something like oh did it? Did you cut out? Can you still hear me? Yeah? Now I can hear you? Okay? Yeah? Well no, no, no, Stu, Stu? Yeah yeah, can you hear me now? Is it? Okay? Do you look my signals? Okay? Okay, Yeah, we're the complete opposite, which I love this so much because I usually, you know, birds of a feather kind of a thing. Yeah, we have birds of a feather in so many ways we have happen we are, but not this area. But yeah, and then when you go to like an if you're a vacation er and you are a traveler and you go to like an all inclusive and they have just like this set menu of drinks they want to serve you and I'm not really a beer drinker. Oh yeah, so yeah, sometimes you're just like, well I don't know what to drink because I don't. Yeah, so here we go. Okay, so let's do listening. Are we doing at the same time? Let's do it at the same time. Okay, Well it's your question. I don't even what is it call? Is it called? I think it's called I'm not you were sent to me, but I don't know what it's called. I'm just since it's a cucumber cocktail, I think it was called the Cucumber Lime Refresher or something like. Okay, that sounds that sounds reasonable, because so I have all the stuff, you guys, seriously, so when so when I read the recipe, it said cucumber juice. Well, I don't know any way to make cucumber tuos unless you blend the crap out of it. So I like, full on blended it and then I strained it. Okay, let's just see. Let's just see what happens. I have so much ice. Look, how look how a classy I am? This is my ice container. You're more classy than I am. You know, I had like this obsession for a while with like cocktailed basses and Martini shakers, and they're all packed away. So really I just had to do make do with what I could. Are you find Are you looking forward to getting that back out when you finally moved? I am. I'm like, I'm dying for it. Like I once in a while I just go over into the storagery and I just like lovingly look at my my my boxes and stuff, and I touch it like the same day I've lived like that. I can honestly tell you that it shucks. Yes, it does. Stuff. You want to find your things? Right? What is it? What is it about that we get like attached to like things? And I think it's just the idea of like making a home, Like there's something making a home that just makes me happy. So now, Jennifer, you remember earlier conversation we had where we talked about where rule followers or not? So like, I've got out my like measuring cup because I want exactly like one o two ounces of this, So mine is mine is simple. You gave me a really simple...

I'm lucky because that you said you were in a cocktawpers, so I didn't want to make it all like but I was glad to give me a little challenge. Okay, So money is two ounces of pineapple, two ounces of pineapple, two ounces of cranberry, and two ounces of Look at this cute little bottle. I love that. I love coconut rum. Okay, so let your funny story about that, So that little bottle. So do you remember when Um Bad Moms the movie came out. So me and a bunch of girlfriends we decided that we were all headed to the movies and we were all gonna like meet up. And so jenn Fir thinking she's kind of a rebel, monorable follower, but I am mostly but you know, I have my moments. I went to a liquor store and I got like a bunch of those little bottles, and I thought it was being all like sneaky and like, you know, I've shoved my purse. And then I get there and I'm like handing them down the road all my girlfriends, and all of a sudden, I swear to you, we start hearing cour popping in the theater because there's all the other women who are true rebels. Jennifer's a faith that's the good guys. But after that, I was like, Wow, next time I wonder what to do. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. That's why you carried the big bag to the movie theater, right, so you can speak in your own stuff. Does everybody do that? I know? Do you guys all do that too? Because I do. I do. I think everybody that we're not big movie Well I'm not a big movie goer. That's like a little that should be one of them you know those reels that you see where it's like, name something that everybody likes that you're supposed to like but you don't, or whatever however goes here. I'm like, I really don't like to go to the movies. Rather, I'd rather stay home and watch a movie on TV. Oh really, yeah? Are you a Hallmark movie person? No? I just um, just like, yeah, I guess I just rather, I guess I would rather get my own snacks and pause when I need to peep, not offend it by that. I only like movies if it's going to be something romantic or something that makes me cry or a chick lit. Yeah, I'm up. They pricked up all right, So you guys, I added this, and I'm gonna be honest, it's very earthly because it's all a cucumber. It's you know, it's a down's cute, an English cucumber. And then putting the vodka, simple syrup and lime juice. Uh, and I'm gonna add soda water after I towed a water. Okay, that makes sense, all right, but can be all cool like the bar cu be. It always looks like fun, you know, good workout for your arms dropping things over here. All right, I'm gonna pour a little of this in and then I'm gonna add my little sparkling water to it and see how I do. And I'm gonna tell you I did cheat. I added a little more simple stup because I am a sweet cocktail person. So do you like Do you like sweet coffee too? Yeah? Do you think they kind of go together?...

I think the kind of um. I don't drink black. I just drink it with um cream in it, like a latte girl, oh Lotte, but without labors. Yeah? Yeah, okay, you ready? Girl? So did you tell Stephen about this drink? Because you said he likes the more savory drinks? Was like savory drinks, So yes, I did, But he's not really home for a while. So I think we'll find out if I you know. Okay, Okay, honestly, what you're doing there with your little lime wedge, you're adorable. Okay, let's see if you like it? Have to sweet, and I'm gonna tell you probably like savory. Ready, really, let's do it. Okay, that's so bad, you know. I added a little more cramberry than what was necessary because I thought it cut down in the sweetness. And I like it. It's not bad. I like it. Here's what I think about this. I feel like it's a garden with some soda. I don't feel the sweetness. There's not enough sweetness in it to make me go oh, that's a sweet one. It's definitely savory and a little earthy flavors. I'm not I'm not offended by this. My girlfriend that I was with that day in Vegas, um she made it at home and she put sprite in it instead of the club soda or the sparkling water or whatever. She said it made it a little bit more sweet, which she liked that. I could see that. Well. I did add this the simple syrup, so we're on a more honorable for sure. I'm I'm liking this it's actually really nice and I think it's very warm. So I think the only thing that would make me like this more is if it was a little bit sparkly, oh like adding a little bit of soda or or something like that. Yeah, one of those flavored selzer's maybe, maybe like the cranberry lime Seltzer drinks. Yes, yes, I could see that being great. You know, I debated glass or this glass. I wasn't sure what it was, so I went with the tall one because I was thinking about much stuff had to go in Please with my decision. Are on this year you had a topic? Yes? Cheers, cheers, M thank you? Yes with me? I was thinking about how society like forces this strong label on women, you know, where women are strong. Were supposed to be strong all the time, and I think sometimes when women hear that message, they hear I can't be vulnerable. And it led me to like this whole thought pattern of we're we're much stronger as a community of women, were much stronger in relationship with other women. Um, we need to It's not just a want, I don't believe. I think it's a need that you need to connect with other females. I think you know, I know you and your husband are very close. Me and my husband are very close. But there's something about the female connection, and that's...

...sort of the path I was going down with this whole conversation today. Yeah, is we can be strong and still be vulnerable. Okay, Okay, so I'm in on that. I'm totally in on that. But it kind of brings me to something that I was thinking about when I was putting my questions together, because I was thinking about the idea that I have a history in my life. I like having girlfriends, but they have to be safe girlfriends. Does that make sense? Oh? For sure? For sure. You you have to make And I'm doing a podcast episode about this. I was just writing it this afternoon, righting. The outline of it is, you know, when when a woman wants to be vulnerable with you, you have to make it safe for her to be vulnerable. It's sometimes it's you know, it's it's tough when you're just on the phone, but if it's like face to faith or even over a camera, there's a body language that you can do. There's you know, there's the leading in, there's the list, mean, there's Yeah, you have to make it safe for someone to be vulnerable. Well that and I know that I am, I'll shy away. I don't know how you feel about this. And that was actually one of questions. Would you ever shy away from a woman, um as a friend because you feel that she's catty or she gossips a lot, or she's just you know, like one of those people that you feel like, okay, if you're willing to share that about that person, and then what are you going to share about me? If I should? Would you ever shy away? Um? I've had this happen actually in the past, and I'll tell you how I handled it. So I don't not be friends with that person, but I also hold back from that person. Yeah, you know, I'm not myself. I'm not one comfortable. Um. And when they're choosing to be catty and gossipy, I try to exit. I try to get out of it because I just don't know how that serves anybody. I'm with you. I think that's the beauty. So you and I we met in an I don't I don't even know how we found each other. I don't know, do you. I can't remember either. Yeah, I don't remember, but we we did you asked me to do a podcast with you, and we hit it off like it was automatic reaction, Like I felt like, oh, I've known you for a long time in my mind, like, oh, we've been friends forever. And so we actually talked on the phone from time to time just let things out. And so the benefit of that for me is what you're talking about your mind, Like I feel like when we have a conversation that we will like spill things, We'll just spill having a hard time because I'm doing I'm dealing with bad and going back, and we we know I have found that with you, I can trust that you're gonna like you're pulling it together for me and be like, Okay, it's okay. We don't We're not going to share this with the world. That's private information or that's something that you want to keep. You just want to vance a little bit. So I treasure that. But I don't know if that is a rarity or if that there's a lot of women...

...out there who we could probably confiding. I mean, I think social media, the fact that we met each other social media and then we formed a friendship. I don't find that shocking anymore, do you no, but I mean probably two years ago I would have said, what, you know, like, yeah, I think so, I think, Um, I think a lot of things happened for me kind of all at the same time. I think, Um, you know, I was going through menopause, which um, A lot of the women that I talked to in menopause, they they feel bad like there there's just a lot of changes happening at once, like and it's almost a sense of like, you know, my body is betraying me. I am gaining weight, my skin is staggy, my hair is graying and falling out whatever, like we all have our thing right that that just kind of bugs us about aging. And then so as that's happening, we moved from Phoenix to this little corner of the world and I'm very isolated, like there aren't a lot of women my age in this area and it's a it's a retirement community. And then COVID hit, So it was almost like a perfect storm, right, and um, for my sanity, Like for my sanity's sake, I had to find other ways, and you know, for a while it was the same friends, but you know, doing zoom calls or trying to stay in touch. But then it's I felt like I felt like it was falling away because people were just dealing with their own stuff, you know, and there is a sense that, you know, you don't want to be so vulnerable that you push somebody away, so neaty, and you pushed somebody away, and so I just, you know, I think I just started pouring myself into what I was doing and trying to meet new people online and and I found this very supportive group of women in midlife, and I was just I was thrilled. And I've met well you BEV, my friend Dianna, my other friend Dna, t the other podcast or ladies, I'm friends it like, and yeah, I talked to all of you on a regular basis. You know. It's a supportive give, give and take, take, give and take relationship. And yeah, I mean it kind of leads me to a question I was going to ask you, Um, one of the top three attributes of a great friend, Oh my gosh, I had a question like that. It's not that, but it's close. Okay, So the top three would actually be Okay, I have to be able to laugh my ass off with a girlfriend. That definitely is a that's a thing for me if I can, if I can be really honest with her, that's another thing, super like you just want to say it. You just want to be like that. There it is, and you know that you're not being judged. You felt everybody is felt judged in their life. Yes, so that and then I think I think the other another element for me personally is I need girlfriends who are uplifting that...

...they're not going to allow me to stay in my like when I'm having a you know, a rough time, They're gonna hear it, but they're not going to add more to keep me down, but rather than encourage me to get back up. And also they're going to speak positive about my marriage with me. Oh yes, I love that about me, and you for sure like you can, I can. You can hear my ship storms with Steven. Sorry for my language, y'all, but you can hear it. But then you're not going to judge me for it. And and you're not going to think tomorrow when I go he's phenomenal. I just totally adore him and his cranky pants is gone. When that happens, you turn, you pivot. I had a girlfriend of mine years ago say to me that the best kind of girlfriend is the one that goes with you on whatever emotional roller coaster you're on. So if you're thinking he's awesome, you're thinking that girlfriend's going he's awesome. If you think he's an asshole, that's what you think he is. That you just go with them where they go, and that if you stick with that course, you're gonna be a good girlfriends And I think that's good advice. I would vet you, do you feel the same well before I answer you. So, I've seen so many comments like I see them, but I can't see them. So thank you, thank you for engaging with us. I wish I could see them better. The cameras is a little farther away from me than normal, but thank you so much for being here with us today. UM. Yeah, I love all of those things. Um, the marriage when it is really important because um, and I'm going to say this very delicately, so I don't throw my friend and the bus, but I do have a friend who was you know, was struggling recently, and you know, I worked through some things with her and her husband, and UM, I'm not a marriage coach, but I am enough of a relationship coach that I can kind of guide some conversations in the right direction. And you know, what I feel very strongly about is that, Um, I stood up for them in their wedding and it didn't I didn't take that lightly. At that meant I I am a supporter of your marriage. So if I can do anything to help you guys like that's that's a big yield to me. It's a really really big deal. So I don't take that lightly. UM. I think loyalty is a big deal for me. Mm hmm um. Yeah. And just trust trust that you aren't, you know, being one way to my faith and the minute I turned my back, you're not, you know, putting a knife in it. You know. Have you have you ever had to walk away from my friendship because of any other mind or someone. But that's one of my questions. Yes, yes, I have can answer your question, but that is on one of my questions. I'm like, that's my questions. UM. I had said, do you ever have to tell a friend you can't be a friend anymore? And the answer to that is yeah, I had to do that, UM, at least once that I can recall in my life. And I have to say that it was the most painful process for me to come up with the boundary in my life that I was willing to say for myself. I'm not I'm not doing this like I I this relationship is toxic. Yeah, and it's causing me to be drained in a way that I...

...just could not I couldn't function other ones. I've just kind of backed away from a relationship a little bit. Yeah, you know that. Have you ever had that type of friendship where you know, they call you only when something drown only when they need something from you. And I call it throwing up on you. I mean they kind of just call you and throw up all over you. And if you want to in any way like share something that's going on in your life, well, oh I'm busy about to go, right, And yeah, I walked away from I can think of two off the top of my head. I walked away from two of those friendships to speak, and that I felt like it was a selfish thing, like I didn't feel like, well, you never want to talk about me, so no, it was more like, is this really a friendship? Because friendships go both ways, like it should it, but I don't think they all do and I don't know about even I've come to see that. I think relationships with girls can be I have several friends who I am just there for them, yeah, and they'll never ask about me, you don't really care about me. And then I have some who are very much They're so sweet and so they care about me, and vice versa m M. And the levels of friendship are different too in those I think, you know, you can have some that are surfacing and then you have some that go indeed you know, but I think and be some. I do believe that there are some friendships that I don't I don't have for myself. I have because I think that person just needs somebody in their life, and I'm willing to give that. But I will give a ton of time and I will go, yeah, exactly, Like, if you have to prioritize something and they're not prioritizing you, then you're not going to probably prioritize them as well. I mean you're you're not yeah yeah profit that yeah yeah yeah yeah. Okay, wait wait, I gotta ask you one. Okay, are you ready? Did you want me another drink for this? Yeah? You do? Um. I would say that to any question though, So, um, did you ever watch did you watch Friends? Yes? Okay, you see okay? Good? Did you watch Sex and City? No? Okay, alright, good. I'm glad I had options because I was like, I can't remember, I feel like we had that conversation. But okay, out of all of the girl friends that are in the Friends, there's only right, which one do you think you're most like? And which one would you like to be friends with if they were real in real life and you have that option. Gosh, that is so hard because they I think they purposely made them so different. Like I think there's a little bit of Monica and Me, like obviously like I have to you know, I'm the rule full or like I like things clean, I'm I'm organized. You know, there's definitely the Monica and me. Um, I would say at least like Rachel, because if I remember right, Rachel was like, um, kind of a rich girl like and I didn't come from that kind of background, so I couldn't probably relate to the Rachel character as my definitely not probably somewhere between...

...a Monica and a Rachel on some levels. Okay, wait, but who would you want to hang out with? Oh? Um? Monica because she's a good cook. I mean, who wouldn't want to eat that food? I think you think about that part of it. That's a really good answer. Yeah, yeah for sure. Okay, Well, so I'm probably a Rachel because I don't remember her as much being the rich girl as the one who just couldn't ever figure things out entirely and at different times and just kind of went with the energy. But she had like passions she wanted to follow, and so she'd go there for a while and then you know, she had all the time. So I probably relate most of Rachel, but I want to hang out with Phoebe the most. Yeah, because Phoebe is the chilliest of the crew, and she makes me laugh all the time because she's so bubbly but not really bubbly, you know, if you know, he's smart and she's so witty. I just couldn't I couldn't stop himself. So yeah, that was my that's a good question. That's a really good necessary there. All right, So let's see. Let's see worst habit you've ever had to give up? Oh, hands down, are you ready for this? You're not do not show Stephen this. I swear to God, we cannot let Steven see this. Every worst habit was trying to control my husband and then like realizing that I was really like I was a nag and I was I was trying to get him to do things that would be like me, but I didn't want to marry me. Marry him and all of his differences and all of his like, he's so crazy, he's so different from me in so many ways, and I was all attracted that, but then I wanted to make an into me. That that was That's probably by far one of my worst habits that I had to make so much sense though. I dated a guy once before I met Brian, and he was so much like me that he kind of annoyed me. Really, Oh my gosh, we like all the same things and it's just annoying. After a while, you know, I was married, tired, Stephen, and so the relationship taught me a lot. And when I realized as I walked out of that relationship was how very much we were very you know, we were similar. We were both like able to go deep, and we could have heart to hearts and and if I cried, he'd be like, right there, Stephen, it's not this guy by the way. So Stephen, it's training like when I cry, you have to hug me, you know, you really do. I mean, I'm sorry, you have to hug me. Um. So what I found was amusing that we were originally this is really funny to me. When we first dated, we were in San Francisco and there is a boat that takes you out to Alcatraz Island, and so we decided...

...to get on this boat. And in my prior relationship, I knew exactly what would have happened. You get on the boat. He would have been like, Okay, we're gonna sit inside by the way, no, because I don't want to get my hair all in the wind and everything, and he would have been very contained. And then when I met Stephen and we we met by the way. I never went on this with my ex but when I met Stephen, we decided to do this. So I thought this is a great time to test him. So I did. I said, where do you want to sit on the boat? You can either go inside and we can stay down there, or you know, we can go to the top of the boat. And he goes at the front of the boat. At the top of the boat, and I was like in my head, yes, because yes, he doesn't want to be like And I was so happy that he was so excited about that. I actually have come to see that the opposites that attracted have a harder time in some ways. But you can also have you can have boats, you can have like things you're in common, like you both want to be adventurous. But you may like, I don't know, I just like, as I'm thinking about it right now, I'm like, yeah, I don't, I don't know. I think that you really do need to have some similarities and some differences to make it interesting. Yeah, like we're so alike and we're so into very true, totally. Okay, okay, all right, So we've all had girlfriends now since we were little girls in elementary school all the way up. How have your relationships with girls changed from being a little girl to now in our mid life? Oh wow, that's that's a great question. I you know, it was tough. It's tough to answer that, Jennifer, because, um, I had my first child when I was a teenager. Okay, so I didn't take a normal path, and I feel like I lost a lot of friends when I made that choice in life. Um, yeah, I grew up an abuse at home, and so like having a baby was kind of my way out of it. And it sounds like a great excuse now, but um, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't take a normal path. So I I'm not the girl. I'm the girl who never got to go to prom or homecoming because I was, you know, home taking care of a baby. And I think a lot of girls, and maybe their parents had something to do with it, kind of shied away from being friends with this bad girl that I was. Yeah, it was different. And so then when I did form alliances, you know, with women, it tended I tend to lean towards women who had kids the same age as as my my daughters were. And yeah, and so now I guess I I choose. I choose differently because I'm so hungry for a deeper connection than you know, just watching our kids play at the park together. Like now I need I need some stimulation, like some mental state mulation, much...

...more so than I did in my younger years. Like I want to talk about like let's talk about marketing strategies for our businesses. Let's talk about what you're struggling with can I can I offer you a resource? Do you have a resource for me? How can we How can we just kind of like do life together, you know, make things easier for each other and push each other a little bit, you know. I think that's the difference. You really are like that. I think about the conversations that I've been fortunate enough to have with you, and you are you're You're a diver. You'll dive in, You're curious, and you have a tendency to like really want to know what that next level is? What? What? How can we take that a little bit deeper? I think it's one of my favorite things about having our conversations is that you'll dive into stuff that I'm like, whoa, Okay, I don't know that I didn't know, And it is so fun to be authentic and that. Yeah, but I also love to be silly. I think we've had some really silly we're laughing our butts off, which I also think it's really Again, that's that's part of the it's a healthy relationship. Yeah, yeah, very good, very good. We are at half an hour. Usually I usually cut it off about here, do you have any more on your list that you just are dying to ask. Let me look, let me look. Yeah, you didn't watch Sex in the City, which I'm going to have to change that. Oh yeah I didn't. I have one last question for you. Are you ready? I'm ready? Have you ever laughed so hard that you spit something on your nose? Absolutely? Okay? And pete a little too? Well yeah, yeah, that's go on. Well that's midlife. Actually I love those. Do you like do you guys like to go to comedy shows? So? What the comedy clubs? Oh? Yeah, yeah, I have one in yours. Like I love that feeling that you're like laughing so much that like your side of your face hurts. Yeah, totally totally, like you can't stop, please please stop. Yes, I have one more question for you. Okay, do you ever get scared in your business when you have to go online? Like you? You look so natural and so at ease and I love watching you. Do you get nervous? I'm well, not so much anymore. No, I think now I'm just talking to my friends. That's what I've discovered, and I stay discovered because the very first if you go back, like if you really go back to the very first one, all I did. I had a glass of wine with me every time I went online because I could not deal with my nerves, like I was, so who you're going to judge me and everybody's And now I know everybody's gonna judge, but they're also going to support, right who cares like I'm here, I am who I am? So yeah, it's not as big of deal now it's just my friends. Well, thank you for joining me today. Um, Brian is probably going to love this more than you. He loves this week stuff. And yes, let me know Stephen. Like the A...

...funny little little story about cocktails with Brian is when we go places sometimes he'll order a really fruit fru drink and I'll order like a beer or something like its Pizza'll order a beer and they bring the fruit for drink to me and they bring the beer to him. That's okay. I think we actually have we need to go out with our husbands because I think Steven would be like right apart we get to the restaurant, most of the time, he'll go after the fruitfuit drink too. In fact, martinis were a thing forever in a day. Now it's cocktails. Now it's moved to the bourbon world. But we'll still go back to the lemon dropping a cosmo any time somebody wants so, I love you a good dirty martini. You like a dirty martini? I do, Oh my gosh, Okay, I've only had one that I could handle. I love olives. It's that salt. I love olives too, But in my drink, I think I'm gonna be always sweet, although I have to tell you that this one. The closer you get to the bottom, the sweeter it is. So I didn't stir it enough for something. Well, let me not be like that. Here's my friend. Thank you, mama. It's good to see you. Talk to you soon. Okay, sounds good by girls. Hey friend, I hope you enjoyed our time together today and found the information valuable. Remember you are officially invited to join our Facebook group and private group. I will put the links in today's show notes. If you are interested in exploring coaching, you can email me at Terry T E R R I and dot Callum's K E. L l U M S at gmail dot com, or private message me on Facebook or Instagram. If you're enjoying the content of the podcast, remember to share with a friend or on social media. It really does help other women find the podcast, and if you have yet to leave a rating and review, you can do that on your favorite platform. Okay, remember you are not alone. You are worthy of love and a fulfilled life. Now it's time to go after it.

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