What Women Want Today
What Women Want Today

Episode 43 · 1 year ago

Emotions and our GUT Health


BIO: Laura Patricia Martin, IBS-Anxiety specialist and founder of Healing to Happy, a luxury lifestyle brand that focuses on helping women optimize the gut-brain connection to overcome chronic food sensitivities and overwhelming anxiety so that they can recharge their lives and become the women they are meant to be.

Today we talk about:

  • The connection between anxiety, depression, and Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
  • Orthorexia
  • Why we can't just avoid foods, elimination is not the long-term solution
  • The need to uncover the connection between the food and the WHY we aren't able to digest foods properly.
  • Learning to have a healthy relationship with both your emotions and your food. 

Find Laura on Instagram 

 Laura's Website 

Hello and welcome to the what women on today? PODCAST. You might be asking yourself right about now. Well, what do women want? I mean we're pretty complex creatures, right. Well, I think we want it all, and I'm here to export with you. My name is Terry Kellums. I'm your host. Go grab your favorite beverage. I've already got my glass of wine, and let's get started. Hello, Laura, welcome to the show. I've been looking forward to having you on with me today. Thank you so much for having me. I'm looking forward to it as well. Yeah, so, Laura, tell us what part of the United States you're in. So I am in Dallas, Texas. Oh my Texas. So are you guys experiencing a need this cool weather that we're experiencing over here in Arizona? We are getting a bunch of rain, Hur are you right? But that's about it. And I woke up yesterday morning and we had snow on our mountaintops right right near my house. So it's kind of shocking. It was like, Gosh, how cold was? It was in the high for S, low fifties or something like that, and I was like, oh my gosh, I don't know if I'm ready for bet drastic of a temperature change. Yet I know we were just actually we just got back from camping in Arizona and then Utah and since I mean in Texas, we're not used to get cold, so we go there and it's like thirty nine degrees at night and we're like sleeping outside. I'm like this is miserable, like I can't do this. I think Utah is one of the most underrated states for how beautiful. It's stunning. It is so good for your nervous system, like being there and like how calm it is and all there is is just like rocks and mountains, knowing, wow, this is what peacefulness feels like. I loved it. So I've already given a little bit of your bio. What else would you like my listeners to know about Laura? Yeah, I mean my name is Laura. That's good, because start I am the founder of healing the happy, which is a luxury brand focusing on IDs anxiety. So we help women overcome food sensitivities, we help women overcome metabogic issues, so digestive issues, you know, chronic information that we feel, along with the anxiety that comes with it because of the gut brain connection, which all of this stemmed from my own during as they do, and my own research and things of that nature. To really dive into it. It's been one of the most monumental things for my own healing, but also to see that it's helping so many other women's. It's like it blows my mind to this day. That is fine to know you're making a difference in someone like for sure. So I was on your website and just kind of checking out stock and you a little bit love it. You know, what really dreamed you was probably the the IBS and the anxiety connection that you make, because I was diagnosed with IBS with the I just turned fifty two and it was after my oldest daughter was born. So it's been Gosh, thirty five years, I think, and I've never really liked been on any kind of long term medication. I've just sort of like figured out over the years the foods that trigger it and just try to avoid those foods. And I think you called it, what was the word that you used for it? Like episodes or I'm still Arabs flare ups. That's called it. So this is such an interesting topic and I'd really love to dive into some of this with you. But what really kind of just surprised me was that I had never made the connection between the anxiety and IBS lay ups. So kind of about that. Of course, that's like my bread and butter. It's it's a thing that we're often chansing the to like independently and not together. But really, IBS is at I mean, for anyone that doesn't know, it's irritable bowel syndrome, so irritable. Some things upset a bow in your hole in syndrome chronically over time. So this is not just like a stout of bloating...

...because you had some Texas Barbecue. It's like a consistent thing over time that really starts to impact your life. And there's two different types, right, yeah, yes, you have constanction and an area. Yeah, okay, yeah, and they mixed between the two sometimes. So so for me, I've had IBSC for the longest time and I do the same time I also was diagnosed with depression at thirteen years old, same time I was diagnosed with IV, yes, and so I didn't know that, you know, the loner transmitters in my brain that we're giving me depression, we're also Lonar our transmitters in my gut because of this whole central nervous system and the gut brain connection and you know, the metabolism, and also, when you're depressed, the lifestyle choices you tend to make, you know that perpetuate the cycle because you don't really know how to feel yourself and how to navigate that right like over your lifetime. And so I chase those two things separately. And then what now? We make a running joke in my field of like, at the end of the day, ibs is just BS, like it's basically like they don't know what's wrong with you. You know you've done in this is like when the matters of the gut, you do want to go get tested. You want to make sure it's not the parasites or over roads or any of that kind of stuff. And then ultimately they're like, we literally don't know, like you have some irritation in your colon, but we have no idea why you can't digest normally right, and so all this go ahead say. It's just like like the lightbulbs are just going off in my head because when I was first diagnosed it was after the birth of my daughter. I was so sick, like unbelievably thick, and it was so hard because, and and I probably should put a warning at the very beginning of this topic, that's you know, there are some like graphic things that we might care but I was so sick and I had to take my daughter into the bathroom with me and put her in her little baby carrier and just sit there in pain and feeling like I was going to die. I lost twelve pounds. I mean I couldn't I couldn't eat. It was just it was the worst thing I think I've ever been through and it did take them some time to figure it out. But now that I'm looking back at hearing you say these things, I was a teen mom and a pregnant teenager. I had a lot of family conflicts and my stepfather made me and my threeday old daughter moved out of the house, like kick this out, took my stuff, put it in garbage bags, kicked me out of the House and she was three days old. I mean, can you even imagine that? I'm say, I'm sitting here as a fifty two year old woman imagining my twenty one year old daughter being out on her own and with a with a threeday old baby, and no wonder I was so anxious. I mean that was like it was crazy. It was a crazy time. I don't doubt that they're connected because now that I've looked back over different periods of my life when I've had the worst attacks, have been through some of the most stressful times and I noticed on your website you had put some photos. So the the reaction for you is also on your skin. I had everything, and so thank you for sharing that, because that is I mean, I'm sure maybe people can't really entirely to that specifically, but we've had traumatic experiences in my life. I like, for me, it's in me off my unexcepted you lost my mom and then from there I chose a bunch of lifestyle things that were not very appropriate for quite some time and just put my body, in my central nervous system, into this stuff. And so my last thing. So it started with IBS. So I had a bunch of that stuff. It don't got to like I mean I had orthorexia. So I was like super obsessed with getting my gut health right and obsessed with everything I was learning in school and which was a silly thing to do for a woman that was already have a history of an eating disorder, like just was a thing. Just back up one step there. What if Orthorexia or the rexy has when you are obsessed with health. So you see it in people where it's like there's such...

...picky eaters. They avoid everything that has any type of sugar, any type of glue in, any type of dairy, like everything has to be a particular way, you have to eat at certain times. You get so obsessed because, like my brain, I can't unlearn what I learned in school. Right, like I know so much about food that I wish I didn't, but I can't look at a plate normally. You know, like I know just by looking at something how many carves, fat, protein things. I know how you know how many calories are in something. And so my brain got so attached to it because I didn't have a health relationship with food. That's how I got into nutrition. One of my friends was like, you're really like you lost so much. I was forty pounds underweight at this time. I was I had I yes, I was having chronic panic attacks. I was stuck in a very abusive and toxic relationship, my hair was falling out, I hadn't had a period in five years, and the last thing is that picture that you're talking about. That's what actually got my butt into tapping into this gut brain connection, because at the time I was doing, quote unquote, all the gut things. I was like the Gut Queen and like running this company and doing all the stuff and I have the perfect get in, the perfect workout and all this kind of stuff. But yet my body was like miss you are missing the ball, like you are not paying attention to what we're trying to tell you. And so this rash took over the entire backside of my body and for about eight months I've just kept doing what I was doing, thinking it was healthy. And then I was like well, it's fine, could stun the back side of my body, and then it creaked up into my armpit and then all throughout my face and I was like, okay, now we can't ignore it because it's on our face. Isn't that just I love that you just said that because I feel like that happens a lot, like when you just when you think you can just ignore something in your life, like it just keeps showing up other ways. Right. Yeah, exactly, and that's and that's the biggest thing, right, it was. And now, looking back in hindsight, and I'm sure if people can relate to this, you see the little nudges you weren't paying attention to. So, like me, my journey started twenty four after you know, getting into nutrition and overcoming my mental health, and that's what dophe into things. But like, I look back at my life and I'm like, well, I didn't really ever learn how to eat, you know, like that's something I learned, how to pick up a fork and order food through the telephone, but like the only thing I knew about was like calories, you know. And then getting into nutrition, I learned about like macarism, micronutrients, but like not really about nourishing or having a healthy relationship to food. Like I had an eating disorder my early teens to early twenty. Is like it was a ten year eating disorder, and so I was like I never learned. And so now, looking back at those things, it's like we grow up in this state of missing the nudges because we're so focused on what we're taught. It should be low calorie, low car below fat low, like anything. Just need a flower, like I don't know what it is, and we go through this journey not really paying attention to you. Can't sleep at night, you have no libido, your cycles gone, your hair is falling out and getting weak, your skin like, you're getting bags under your eyes, like I wasn't listening to any of that stuff until finally vanity took its course and was like well, now we're going to mess up your face until you actually listen to us. Yeah, I just feel silly. Yeah, for sure. I hear you saying this and you know, immediately was coming to my mind was we also aren't taught very well how to deal with emotions, at least not my generation. I think my daughter is doing a wonderful job with my grants and I see lots of the younger generation MOMS helping the little identify their feelings and and such. My Age Group did not get that. We didn't. I mean you were told not to cry, don't Crow, you some to cry about, right. So we're really not even taught how to deal with our emotions. So we learned a very young age how to develop our own sort of coping strategies. Mine were always just to push everything down, just keep pushing it down, just keep pushing it down, just ignore it. Do you feel like you had that same message or was your message a little different? Yeah, now that's so. Now that I've done, you know, eating disorder recovery and all that stuff, I know all of my obsession with food and my identity being wrapped...

...around health. I was always an athlete. So my sense of, quote unquote, belonging and being worthy of love from my parents specifically was because if I was good at athletics, perfect, and so I became obsessed with always doing fitness and stuff and getting six packs and things like that. And then when it came to nutrition, I'm an empathy. I feel energy all around me all the time and I now know I soothed with food, you know, and that helped me from like speaking my emotions in the house, because my family was always like you're so emotional, like why do you have to talk about everything? And it's still like understood different breed when it comes ranging on emotions, like I love deep conversation and then like sometimes people don't want to do all that and so I stuff it down with food. And so yeah, it was seeing these parallels. Like it's like, of course, this is where my life hadded of like understood, like of course you had got health issues. Yeah, but like you never learned all of that. Yeah, are you famuliar with the idiogram? Yeah, are you a for yes, I know it. You love to talk about your feelings, right, feeling all the feelings all the time. I love it. We'll have to have a separate conversation about that at another time. So, whendy, so when did you kind of make those two connections between you know, the way you just sort of developed your own coping strategies to some being identifying. You know, age do you say with age twenty four, when body just started saying you can't keep ignoring me, like, is that about the same time, or did it take a little while? Look, so it took a while after. So, like I said, I had a rack on the bottom moment. At twenty four I was living in Asia and a toxic relationship, really having all these health issues, knowing something was wrong but not knowing how to address it, which led me into nutrition. But when I was men specializing in got health. But when I was on this journey, it was all these elimination diets and restrictions and I got so attached to them. Were like I was eliminating thirteen different food groups, I was only drinking soups and smoothies, going on this whole thing. And then I went to an antropath name was penny, God bless her, and she looks at me and she goes, do you want to talk about how your depression is linked to you're like all your health issues? And I remember, I remember looking at her and I went no, not really, like I wasn't ready, you know, because at the time the way I was handling the loss of my Bob and that that relationship was being the epitome of quot unquote health, even though it was not healthy. That was my identity and I didn't want to loosen my groups on that yet. And then on my I think, was that I was my twenty five birthday, twenty six, twenty sixth birthday. I was giving like a seminar one time and I was speaking, I good health and all this mental health stuff and, you know, talking about this stuff, and then my face is covered in this thing going on and I'm like, all right, it's time to take radical responsibility that we aren't being our best client right now and I really don't into the science and really just understanding. You know, Vegal tone in the biggest nervous system and beyond, just like what I used to talk about, or like Saratonein is health in our cut, and you know, our brain hasn't it's like I learned about neuroinformation. I started to learn about the biggest nerve. I learned about how our metabolism and when we're under eating, how this sets off alarm bells in our body. And this is actually why we get anxiety. It's not. You know that anxiety is sim a symptom, not something that runs in your friend. Like all these things, and I was like it was a lot at first, but it also felt like I could finally breathe. Wow, you know, I think I I'm your social media might have been there that you know people with with ips and with food sensitivities. I could just did you do sort of become obsessed with it because, like, I have this ongoing problem. I cannot eat onions. Can you imagine a world where you can't eat onions? I mean onions are literally in everything right so you know, it's not so bad when you go to a restaurant because you have a little bit more control over you know, I can choose a steak that...

...doesn't have onions it. You know, I can do the big potato. But when you get fit it over someone's house or to a party or to holiday meal, Oh, like, the last thing you want to do is be a picky ass, right, like I feel like, you know, I don't want to make a big deal about it, but yet just one bite of something with onion and it can send me into a tailspin for three or four days, I's and that's the thing. Is like, yes, we have food sensitivities like that's it's a thing, right, but if we just eliminate the food and we don't understand and ask the deeper question, why can't I eat onions? You know, why is my body all of a sudden not able to dig this in? And what gets us on this path of you know, low fut map, which is a really restrictive elimination diet that often people that are on that have IDs go on. Really, anyone that has I yes, really supposed to go on that for six weeks? Please stop doing it for ten years, like please my time. Have a college then I'm like how long you can do an that? They're like, I think a decade of my life. I'm like way too long, please don't do that. But you go on. You start going down that route right like first you're like, Oh, like I'm having is gonna shoes? Maybe I'll cut out thery. Oh, I'm like have a little bit of this or that, maybe I'll cut out glue. And you start getting obsessed with this world. Of a sudden you're that picky eater, you know. And it didn't just start over night where it's like fourteen foods you can't eat. It started one by one and if you actually look at that in hindsight you're like, well, why, why did that happen? You know, like it's not what's going on with my microbiome? Why is my body eating this? And that's when we start to do the test. If you're out, okays, an overgrowth is or something, because and the day we all have used, we all have candied up, you'll have parasites because the way it works, it's just the fact that our stomach acid in somewhere in our metabolism got lower and that's where these foods start to get more sensitive. And actually people that have ides and those that have anxiety have a heightened nervous system. So they do all the studies on these people that they eat onions. They high thought about foods, right. They still people that don't have IDs still have the same reaction we have, but because our nervous system is more sensitive, we feel it. That being said, why is our nervous system sensitive? You know, and if we just keep eliminating foods, we're not actually getting to the root of the problem, which is metabolic restoration, which is get bring connection, which is, you know, trauma, either big trauma, little trauma. What it have you and how our body and our central nervous system is stuck in the spider flight and our blood flow is then not going to our digestion, which is why we can't digest food. Wow, can you a couple STIPs backwards? What was the very first thing you said? Metabolic restoration. Metabolic restoration. Yeah, what is that? So our metabolism. So oftentimes when we think of metabolism, we think of the scheming people. Right, then you just have a quick metabolism. That's not true. I'm talking about what is the temperature of your body when you eat, and so this has to do. Is your body using the food that you eat ass fuel. So this is do you get angry? Do you have cold feet and hands? Do you get shaky? Do I need to get you have a lot of like mood swings in lethargy? Your metabolism probably is not nord of that, because if it I gained twelve pounds, never know. It's really has to be. Would like, how steady is your blood sugar throughout the day and are you actually absorbing these quote unquote healthy foods that you're eating? And this is really have to start to restore, because it be it. So, in a simple way of explaining is if our metabolism isn't working actimally, our body is going to go into fireflight. If our body goes into fire flight, that's our central nervous system, which controls every organ in our body, like all of our survival organs, and it's all regulated through this thing called the vegut nerve that goes from our brain to our gut. It's our longest nerve in our body. When that shuts down because it's stuck in this chronic state of flight, of fight or flight, because of we're not eating enough be because of we're not getting enough with the... of the nutrients. Then how we're going to get the nutrients to the organs that we need to survive right? And so if we're not addressing that, it's just going to set off these alarm belts and this is where we get health issues. MMM. So, do I hear you right in your saying like Paleo, key too, gluten free, avoiding dairy, avoiding on you, like that's not what we should be confectrating on now. No Dud. And like I'm not antidiet entire really, because anyone that starts to diet, you're paying attention to what you're eating, which is always beneficial. It's when you get us obsessed with it and think, like when you meet a Vegan person, how many times do they tell you you beget and like when they're on Paleo or when they're on Kido, like they love to talk about it and they love there, and then you sit there and you're like, but why are you doing that? You know, like if sure, weight, lost things, what have you. Like it means mindfulness and that's a deeper root of thing we got to dive into. But if we're looking to heal a chronic health issue like IBS or pcos or anxiety or Hashimotos are things of that nature, or instamate in tolerances. We got to get to the root cause, is to why did our body all of a sudden not want to digest food, which doesn't fix by just taking away that food. We actually have to do the work to figure out why. Okay, so this is where you come in. And and what do you do when you work with somebody? How does that say go? Yeah, it's so. I mean it depends on what we're addressing. Right. Like I have multiple programs for, you know, metabolism and anxiety, because I just keep them separate now because I realize it's too much in one one. A little tuna jar. Well, but I walk through the method of free so the acronym free fire, and the first F is the foundation. So, say we're talking about food sensitivities. When did that start? How often does that happen? What are you eating? How often are you eating? When are you eating? How are you feeling before you eat? How are you feeling after you eat? What's going out? You know, like we often times jump straight into a diet without actually doing looking under the sheets. You know, we got what's under the bed. Why did this happen to begin with? And this is why we get stuck in this diet loop and eliminations and chronic like I don't know about you, but I've been on a diet since I was thirteen, like I don't think it's just something that's been in my repertoire and it's like, but why, you know, and we ought most most often than not, ids into sensitivities. Is a lifestyle issue, unless if we've gone through things and it's not a parasite or an overgrowth or any of the sea bow or something like that. It's a lifestyle thing. HMM. On average people are eating sixteen times a day, you know, but they're so they're so keen on their fast being window, but they're eating. They're pecking all through the day, but there's so big like precise on their calories, but they're eating all throughout the day and it still counts that you're passing through the kitchen and you see one little mn and you pop it in your mouth. That still takes digestion, even though it's like a scent of a calorie, like it's still counts for your digestive system. And so when we actually get into a struture, or we're doing the opposite, where we're busy humans, we're not eating. You know, we'll have one maybe like a coffee in the morning and then we're so busy the whole day we don't we don't even realize how hungry are until we're like housing a bag of cheetos in our mouth and it's three PM and we're like, I'm so hungry, we like dive into the kitchen. Yeah, that is like even saying that I'm stressed out, you know, like this is why our body reacts in such a rain. So more often than not, when we start with the foundations and then we start to do this, like we go to our which is reprogram your body, your microbiome, your gut can change within were days just by giving it the right nutrients. Our nervous system right, like neuroplasticity, our brain can change when we fire and wire and actually tappen to our subconscious and see what's happening. You know, epigenetics. Even if you have an autoimmunity right now, your lifestyle is what turns that off and on. I see all the time people get rid of their autoimmunities. I had hyperthyroidism. I no longer have it, you know, like we get to have these choices based on our lifestyle circumstances, because our body's cool and can be reprogrammed. In this is where we move into the other ease, where it's we explore different food options, functional foods, what we need to do, what lifestyle practices, and ultimately end up at our last see, which is our lifestyle,...

...and it's evolved and it becomes this thing in like that acronym can you apply to anything you're doing right, like you do it in your business, you do it in your life, you do it in your relationships. It's like where you at, how's it affecting you? How do you want to reprogram it? Where you going to explore some more? How do you make it a lifestyle change? And you just keep doing that in your life? Wow, and so how does somebody work with you? Is it? Is it like a program is it a sixth week? Is that you know? How does that work? All the about? Um, so I have different courses which our group programs. So've g got recharges them. The tabards. Someone the labyrinth is our anxiety course. I have my one to one mentorship, which is three months long. I have master classes that run about once a month, really making sure that we have availability to every income level, because I remember when I couldn't afford anything. So we make sure we can hit the broad spectrum of everything. Yeah, wow. And so if someone is listening in today and they're like, oh my gosh, she's talking about me, how can they find you? How what's the best way for them to get in touch? They can explore working with you. Yeah, like everyone nowadays on Instagram, my instagram have handle is at it's its Lord Patricia Martin and and you'll see anything that's being offered at all, definitely being played in the stories are on our page or something like that. From there you'll know how to get in touch and I'll make sure to put your website and your instagram handle in the show notes for today. So, Laura, as we wrap up, is there anything else you like the listeners to know about the services that you offer and how you can help somebody? Yeah, I mean I think the biggest thing is when we're struggling with anxiety and food anxiety and all that kind of stuff, is really understanding. You don't have to do this alone, you know, and when it comes to poop in our brain, like these are the two things we never talked about, like we are trained not to speak about them, and so we wrap ourselves an these stories where even the best brain surgeons can't perform surgery on their own brains. You know, it's it's not your job to figure it out alone and whether it's with me or someone else, know that there are thousands of women that have gone through this. You know you're not alone. It's not an endgame, it's not something you're stuck with, it's just you gotta lean in with curiosity instead of leaning out and and just like, Oh, Yep, okay, this is what I have. It runs in my family. That doesn't stuff, and I'm playing that story like, lean in with curiosity, be teachable, be willing to learn, and that's where you start to find the answers that you're looking for. Oh, I love that. I love that you said you don't have to go through it alone and you shouldn't go through it alone, and that's what let's with this podcast, in the community that I'm building is all about. Like no one should have to supper in silence. Thank you for agreeing to come on with me today and share all your knowledge. It's it's just been very insightful and it'll just blown right by and I just want to thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me and thank you for what you're doing and sharing everything. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you enjoyed today's conversation as much as I did. If you'd like to continue the conversation, come on over and join our private facebook group what women want today, and love to hang out with you some more there. Any resources mentioned in today's episode will be in the show notes. You can find me on facebook and Instagram at what women want to day podcast or visit my website at what women want to Daycom please remember, just subscribe, download and share. Leave me a review. It helps other amazing women find the show and become a member of our community. One last thing for you today. You are not alone. You are worthy of love and a fulfilled life. Now it's time to go after it.

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