What Women Want Today
What Women Want Today

Episode · 1 year ago

How SELF-AWARE are you?


In today's episode, we will talk about the benefits of self-awareness.  We talk about how NOT being self-aware can impact your mood, you ability to communicate effectively, and ultimately impact your relationships

Hello and welcome to what women on today podcast. You might be asking yourself right about now. Well, what do women want? I mean we're pretty complex creatures right. Well, I think we weren't it all, and I'm here to explore with you. My name is Harry Kellums, I'm your host. Go grab your favorite beverage. I've already got my glass of wine, and let's get started. Hello and welcome today's episode of what women want today. My name is Terry Kellum's. I'm your host and I'm so glad that you hear with me on today's episode. I want to talk to you about self awareness. Here are four proven benefits to self awareness. It encourages positive self development self control, it helps you see things from another's perspective, helps you with better decision making and enhances our self confidence. So yeah, it's kind of a big one and maybe even a little scary for some people. I mean, I could probably do an entire series on today's topic, but for today we will focus on just three areas you could begin to enhance your own self awareness. So years ago, when I was going through my coaching certification for the John Maxwell Group, one thing that was a constant message throughout all of the learning was that in order to grow yourself, you must first know yourself. In order to grow and change behavior, it is first necessary to become self aware. Well, if you're thinking, of course I know myself, Terry, I talk to myself all day long, and I answered to just stick with me, friend. This is a big topic and I'm going to walk through three things you can start working on right away. So I always thought I had a pretty good handle on my own self awareness. I thought I knew my communication style and how I behaved under stress, what... biggest fears were, and I've been aware of my weaknesses as well, and I really do subscribe to the theory that you must grow your strengths and manage your weaknesses. Being aware at least helps you develop strategies for working around them. Now, I'm not saying that change is easy, are always even necessary, but if we are aware of it, aware of how to effects, our moods, our thoughts, our ability to communicate, the way we present ourselves at work, the way we behave under stress, we may encounter some struggles in our relationships, our careers, with our family and our own internal struggle, struggles when we are trying to find more fulfillment in our lives, and I know that just going through perimenopause and and menopause, there have been changes in my life and I've had to reevaluate some of the things that I thought were true before. So the first one I want to talk to you about is mindset. Now, I think it's really easy when our bodies are going through so many changes at the same time. Our hormones are fluctuating, our weight changes, we feel discomfort from aches and pains we didn't even feel before. Night sweats can be making sleep hard, and hot flashes make us feel like we are about to come bust. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Even our relationship with our spouses can change because our libido is changing as well. I mean asking us to keep a positive outlook at this time in our lives. It can be asking a lot some days, and I'm not going to pretend that these discomforts are easily ignored. It's damn frustrating some days. What I am suggesting is to have some awareness of it, make a plan ahead, a time to handle those days and some coping strategies to get you through the tough ones start paying attention to some of...

...the triggers that lead you down the path to a fixed mindset type of thoughts. Once you understand the triggers and your reactions to them, your awareness increases and you can work towards new, healthier responses. So a fixed mindset might sound something like this. Well, I'm all or now and I guess this is just how my life is going to be. I've been this way a long time and people just don't change. No one cares what I think. I just don't have the energy I used to have for something new. A growth mindset would sound more like this. I'm older now, my kids are grown and my financial pictures better than it used to be, so that opens up a lot of opportunity in my life right now. I've developed some habits over the years that haven't really served me well. I'm ready to start working on some things to change my life for the better. I've gained so much wisdom I can't wait to share it with the world. I'm finding that trying new things is giving me more energy than I've had in a while. So the next one I want to talk to you about are the joyful moments in your life. If you remember back to my episode with Julia Martin, we were talking about manifesting some of your desires. Now, I will tell you this. For some reason it seems a whole lot easier to talk about what we don't want then to truly identify what our desires really are. So, after talking with Julia that day, I had to take a few minutes for reflection after the recording because I know this is such a tough one for so many women. It reminded me that self awareness of my own desires does not come easy. From me and many other women losing ourselves because our children are...

...grown and we've poured so much up ourselves into being a mom we forgot to nurture our own selves along the way. Even for those women who never had children, you could have focused so much of your life on your career and your spouse that just still forgot to take care of you. As women, we can get so focused on tasks and the doing that we forget we need to take time for just fun stuff. Also losing our sense of purpose because maybe we've retired or the economy changed or the job we've been doing is no longer available. When you add in societies ideas of WHO and what is important. You can find yourself comparing where you are in life, done with a child, bearing years, losing your youthfulness according to day standards. It's time to start nurturing our desires again, even if you feel like you have no idea where to begin. Start somewhere, and it may be easier to make a list of things you don't like. Remember playing the opposite game with your kids. Well, sometimes the opposite game really works. I struggled many times over the years to separate someone else's needs. That caused me to feel like I have to put mine on hold to meet theirs. You should give ourselves permission to enjoy simple things. Recently, a friend of mine posted a FIDEO on social media and she was talking about how she had gone away from some of the small things that bring her joy, like gardening and rowsing through bookstores for Old Cook books that she likes to collect. I shared with her too, that I had been so focused on the doing of things that I forgot about some of the things I do that make me feel alive. Are you worried that you want to try something that maybe someone else in your life might be very quick to judge or dismissed as a waste of time. Well,... you remember my friend debby that made a pivot in her life that led her to her career and with our bond as a VP? She finds so much fulfillment and helping others and if she had worried what everyone thought, she would have missed out on helping so many people. or how about my friend Jennifer, the makeup artist, who made a pivot because she saw a need in helping midlife women with their changing skin she took something from her life that she was struggling with and she turned it into a passion for helping other women and she is so happy doing it. I remember when I lived back in Phoenix, one of my dearest friends, Donna, who feels like a sister to me. We would set aside time to enjoy activities together and we would take turns picking out which new thing we would try together, and sometimes it was yoga, sometimes a cooking class or a knitting class or even just a new restaurant with a great happy hour menu. Now, not everything that we tried turned into a new hobby, but we had so much fun trying new things together and I remember after the knitting class, you know, a few people saying that's a old ladies thing, you're too young to take up knitting. But, friends, if knitting is what brings you joy, I don't care how old you are. Pick up those knitting needles. It can be very, very relaxing, and if you're feeling like you don't want to try alone, invite a family member or friend to go along with you. If nothing else, you've learned something that isn't too cup of tea, all while enjoying it with someone you really care about. The third one I want to talk to you today is about health. So the reason help made it to my list today is because I know for me personally, menopause has brought about some health distractions that I never really had to think a about before. So,...

...first of all, I've had some anxiety that I didn't really struggle with before perimenopause. AM In a pause. Certain situations will cause me to who have a hot flash when I'm feeling anxious, and I find myself having to dress a little differently because you know when that hot flash hits. And I'm sure we all experiences in different degrees, but my worst ones leave me soaking wet sometimes and I have to plan ahead when I know I might be in that type of situation that I can dress in layers and kind of undress and redresses the hot flash comes and goes. Right. So I also sit at my desk a lot for my work and I have to be aware that sometimes my neck and shoulders, my lower back and hips need to be stretched more than they used to. I need to take a little bit more frequent breaks and get up a little bit more. I've had some abnormal blood work that has led me to some dietary changes and, for the doctors recommendation, I added some new supplements to my diet and this requires some planning, right, because one supplements on an empty stomach and ones with food and one's an hour before bed, Yada, Yada, Yada. Right. So I don't think we can wait to become more self aware of health issues that come along with menopause. My most recent one was a low functioning thor thyroid and he had some concerns with my glucose levels, which I'm hoping is just because I ate a Sushi roll right before my lap recust done. Hey, I didn't know I was supposed to be fasting, but in all seriousness, I don't want to take a lot of my medication or have body aches that stop me from enjoying my life. My Hobby, Brian and I we love to travel and we have some big travel plans for at least ten years after we retire, and I want those years to be fun. I want to ride horses like we do, want a lot of our trips without aching four days afterwards.

I want to snorkel in the ocean and be able to get back in the boat when I'm done. I don't want to waste these years being distracted by poor health. So how do we become selfaware of our health? Well, we take charge of it. We take the supplements, we change our diet, we incorporate stretching like a good yoga routine, and massage has wonderful benefits. I'm also a huge proponent of meditation and a grateful in this practice, and I have that free be still available on my website if you haven't already grabbed it. On an upcoming episode in the PODCAST, I have Dr Gens Leep Hooper on, who talks about joyful movements, listening to our body and corresponding the exercise we need in a way that feels good, not just because we know we should exercise. I love her attitude about it because she says some days it's a bike ride and some days it's dancing. You won't stick to something that feels like tortures, so find something that feels good for you. I Know I've talked several times on social media about how much I enjoy my walk of nature every day. There's just something about it for me, having my dogs, they're looking at the beautiful mountains, breathing in the fresh air. Just that joy and that time I take for myself just it's just tough to beat. And when you add in the benefit of my doctor recommended, you know, having your skin exposed as much as you can early in the morning and don't wear sunscreen and don't wear sunglasses and you know, tend to I think she said ten to fifteen minutes helps your body produce its own vitamin D. So when you're getting a double benefit, they're right. But it's not just about your physical health, it's about your emotional health. To... need to find some healthy ways to deal with stress. Sometimes just talking about it can help, but I also find that being aware of stress triggers helps me plan ahead. So typically, Monday's are a very busy day for me, and I am well aware of this about myself. I can easily be distracted by two things. Other People's request for my time, that people please are still comes out every once in a while, right, and not having things done around the house, you know, that Chore Left Undone From Over the weekend or something on that to do list of phone call and email you how to respond to those things can be very distracting for me. So when I know I have a busy day on a Monday, I try to play in ahead by making my schedule known so that I'm not being asked to do for do other things for other people, or I make sure to prioritize the Chur so I know will cause me the most distraction. So, as we wrap up our time together today, we've talked about the ability to grow ourselves starts with knowing ourselves. We talked about becoming aware of our mindset and how having a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset can stop our progress. We talked about taking time for joy in our lives and how being aware of how often we allow ourselves to take the time to experience joy can lead to deeper levels of fulfillment. And finally, we talked about being aware of the state of our physical health and our emotional health, taking charge of our physical body and the triggers that cause stress and connectatively negatively, impact the quality of our lives, as well spinding ways for joyable movement and paying attention toward diet and keeping our bodies free of aches and pains, to yoga, stretching and massage. And I don't want to forget to mention the metation and gratefulness practice recording.

That is free on my website and you can go there and grab it. At what women want to Daycom to get you started, I want to share with you this quote from Depak Chopra. He says people need to know that they have all the tools within themselves self, awareness, which means awareness of their body, awareness of their mental space, awareness of their relationships, not only with each other, but with life and the ecosystem. Friend, I am so glad you were here with me today and tell next time remember to seek the joy that you deserve. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you enjoyed today's conversation as much as I did. If you'd like to continue the conversation, come on over and join our private facebook group what women want today, and love to hang out with you some more there. Any resources mentioned in today's episode will be in the show notes. You can find me on facebook and Instagram at what women want to day podcast, or visit my website at what women want to daycom please remember to subscribe, download and share. Leave me a review. It helps other amazing women find the show and become a member of our community. One last thing for you today. You are not alone. You are worthy of love and a fulfilled life. Now it's time to go after it.

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