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What Women Want Today
What Women Want Today

Episode 70 · 5 months ago

Live with Teresa Reif

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Today I revisit a fun conversation with Teresa Reif who joined me for EPS 32 of the podcast. We talked about choosing the role in your story and feminine movement with the S-Factor

Teresa and I play a fun game at the end where we talk about our Super Power and our female role models.

If you enjoy Teresa as much as I do you can find her on Instagram here or her website 

You can always connect with me on IG o r Facebook or email me 

Hello and welcome to the what women on today? PODCAST. You might be asking yourself right about now. Well, what do women want? I mean we're pretty complex creatures right. Well, I think we weren't it all, and I'm here to export with you. My name is Terry Kellums. I'm your host. Go grab your favorite beverage, I've already got my glass of wine, and let's get started. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the PODCAST. Thank you for joining me this week. I'm so glad you're here. I'm glad to be here today. I'm doing things a little differently. I have my daughter and grandson visiting from Kansas City and my daughter had a couple of business meetings, so I gave her my office to use and I am sitting in my closet, which made me the only quiet place in the host right now. On the podcast today I am re airing and I g live I did with Teresa read. Teresa was on the podcast episode thirty two, where we talked about choosing the role in your story and Feminine Movement with Yes factor. If you haven't listened to that episode, I will put a link in the show notes so you can check that out. Today's conversation is a follow up, but a standalone conversation as well. I know you'll enjoy Teresa as much as I did. Teresa is such a delight in a joy. I enjoyed both these conversations so much I wanted to share them with you again today. You can find Theresa on Instagram at being reef, which is Beimng Areif, and her website is www blissful femmycom. I will put both of those things in the show notes as well. If you haven't had a Chian chat to give the show a rating and review, I hope you will consider taking a few moments today. It helps grow the show so I can bring more wonderful women like Theresa to the podcast. Okay, if you're ready, let's join today's episode. Oh my God, I did it. I've never used so I'm so nervous. No worries. You know what it's like. Every week it it's just a crap shoot on whether or not you're going to get connected right away, and so today was a good day. please. You just get ghosted because they can't figure it out, like no, no, no, usually in contact with them in another way, but yeah, sometimes it's just I don't know if it's instagram. And then last week during the show, all the sudden the voice just cut out at the very end and we didn't get to finish because I always finished by playing my fun little game. So we didn't get to play. So you holy get to play this with me today's very put out there that this is all gonna go wonderfully, so I'm gonna go great. I had been on vacation last time you and I talked. Um, we had both been traveling and I...

...told you I was going to go to Hawaii, but we didn't get to go. Oh what was covid? Things shift or yeah, they just said that they were having an increase in cases and they didn't say you couldn't come. But you know, I said to my husband our first trip to Hawaii, don't really want this to be like the memory, you know. Yeah, now you don't need to deal with that. Hawaiis and it'll still be there. It'll still be there. So happiness is that if my day job joined us, so I she always joins in every week. So hello happiness. I'm glad you're here today and I will don't mean to interrupt you, but sometimes when people jump in, I will try to, you know, just quick acknowledge and make sure that everybody knows that you can push the little question bubble if you want to ask Teresa question or myself. It's makes a stand out over to the side a little bit so that we can see them. If you want to share it, use that little Arrow all the way to the right shirt with somebody else you think might be interested in the conversation today. Did you get a chance to listen to our episode yet, Theresa? You know what? I didn't, and then I realized. My brother was like, Oh, I started listening to your episode and I was like, Oh my God, I don't even remember what we talked about. Oh yeah, hopy surprise it was. You know, I always I have such good conversations with people. I just enjoy I enjoy doing this so much. But yes, sometimes there's quite a pause between the time we first record and the time that it air. So I always think a and again and try to capture some little, you know, little quotes I can put out there on social media or whatever. But it was a good episode, so thank you again for joining me this week, for sure. So how is the San Francisco Bay area treating Theresa Today. Wonderful. Yeah, now we have kind of good air quality today, I think. So that's always a blessing and good weather. So we're we're all good. Do you guys? Do guys have like for total seasons? Would you say? No, we have what? We have a fire season now, so you have to add that and then right. So that's air quality being we've got so many fires in this in this stretch of time. But there's just October is kind of like a sometimes I'll it's all lockdown and last year during Covid I was just we were all kind of laughing because, you know, we're dealing with this, and then October the fires came and we all woke up one day and everything was orange, like called every like. It was this dark, scary orange and I'm like, okay, that's it, that's enough. But yes, we really just have rain and and then heat. You know, we don't have snow or anything like that. Lots of sunshine, lots of Sunshine. Yeah, you know what you read up covid and I was talking to a friend of mine to day and I was saying that I feel like with Covid, like you could probably oldly if you just had two camps to put people...

...in, and you I went to weigh in on this because you you talk to him and a lot about purpose as well as I do. But I feel like during covid like a couple of camps emerged, like there was the Kemps that sort of like didn't really know how to deal with the stress of the lockdown. And I'm not judging, I'm just I'm kind of just making light of it a little bit here, and I know it's not something they made light of, but they sort of didn't know how to deal with it. So they heard about the covid fifteen. You know, they took about the freshman fifteen when you go off to college, but I heard about covid fifteen and I heard about, you know, people who indulged in their favorite alcoholic beverage a little more often than normal. What else, like Netflix binging, you know that just that whole I don't know what to do with myself, so I'm just going to give into all the things that I think will make me feel good. Camp Yep, and then the camp where it was like, let me discover some things about myself, and I don't know what do you think about that? Like, it is true. I mean, I had already. I've gone through a I think we talked about a little bit like going through a life changing events that I you know, when you go through something that all the rules change, you know, all the things that you were holding up in the air suddenly fall to the floor. The gift of it is you get to pick what you choose, what you pick up, right, and I love her. Yeah, and I I think that, yeah, a lot of people that weren't ready for it, because I'd already gone through an event like that. As soon as it came I said, what are my new rules? What are the parameters? How do we have fun in here? How do we make this time matter? How do we make it make a difference? I mean I became a specter teacher in covid like, yeah, you know so, so, you know you don't want to look back on time and just see it that it had just passed. And so if you'd never been through something like that where like time was going to drag on you and you didn't have control, you might find yourself putting on the fifteen pounds. And and I would say that they don't really I didn't feel. Yes, a lot of them fell in one or the other, but I think some people found their stopping point, that I can only eat so many potato chips and I can only drink so much right. Yeah, had this beautiful opportunity to find themselves. I mean they called the great resignation right, because all these people, and that part excited me. I was like, all these people are about to figure out what's important in their life. They're going to have a dividing line and you can only do that in a pressure situation where all the rules turn upside down. So it is exciting to me. Yeah, Ahide from what Covid was, of course right exactly. But through the that we're mostly waiting. You know, you know what I sort of discovered, and it's kind of billy, but you know, it's good as well. I discovered that. So, you know, I worked in the corporate we're for so many years. I had...

...kids really young. I, you know, did all the things that women do. You know, I had babies, I had teenagers, I worked jobs, I, you know, struggle to keep a household running, smoothie and all that, and I never like, I don't think I ever really acknowledge that all of that stuff is just it's so overwhelming sometimes for women. I don't but I think I just put I had this like well, let's just trudge through this, you know, let's just trudge through it, and I'm not sure that I ever fully embraced one part of it or acknowledge that one part of it was more meaningful than another. So covid for me was like, let me just stop and do some simple things down, some simple things I didn't really have time to do because I had twins. I didn't mention that my little rhant there, but you know, when you have twins like you, you are so busy just trying to get everybody moving through their day, like you know, it's all about routines and such, and one of the things I've discovered during covid is there's some really simple, simple things that bring me so much pleasure and so much joy. And it's like it's like, you know, gardening, and it's baking, homemade pizza crust and after was a third one I was talking to my friend about this morning and I just lost it. It just flew right out of my head. But you know, just simple things like that it's like I wonder how many of us have to, you know, picked up something from covid at, like the silver lining, and has made it part of your life. Now know it. There's tons of it and I think for me I got the positive feedback from my kids of when they went back to school. They didn't realize that, other than Covid as itself, as as an illness, but the experience of being in lockdown, they didn't realize that thing. So they were they didn't see it as that until they got to school and heard other kids talking. You know, my eldest taught himself how to play the guitar. The kids were always tooling around outside, like you know, they didn't experience it as anything to fear because we didn't create that in the house. So I gave myself a little pad on the shoulder for that. But like, good job. You know it. We as kids are coming out, as people are coming out, you know, you're really seeing what their experience was and, like he's it's not judgment, it's just look at it for what it is and where you can go from there. Yeah, yeah, something you said. What did you say in the in the podcast that when I was reviewing it. I wanted to make sure that we talked about it you. So you were talking about some health issues that we didn't really explore too much and you were sharing that you had some difficulties with your thyroid. I know a lot of women in midlife start to struggle with thyroid. So how did you know? How did you know something's wrong with your thy where? I've been starting to get into that realm myself, so I'm just curious about your path with it. Absolutely actually might hit me pretty early and I wasn't aware. I got at motto in College and I think it just it wiped...

...me out. So I'm I had, was it hypothyroid and then undiagnosed Hashimoto's pretty much all through my s right, and so just and then combining that, I was using my adrenals as my energy source, right, I used here to get things done. So you know, you know that and basically it doesn't it didn't take much to just kind of knock me over as far as I was always on the search for more energy. And then I I started working with food and you know, of course, exercise, but really I tapped into medical medium and you know him and I will say for me. I've been following for about four years and I think the only advice I can give to anybody doing it is if you're making yourself a nervous reck trying to follow everything, you're missing the blot right like it's really about adding in these more fruits and more of these healthy foods, put the celery juice in whatever as an addition to and let those things that are not healthy fall away. You know, I'm on those facebook groups all the time and you hear people just like so tight right about it. I'm like, no, calm down, because you're freaking yourself out, which is really going against I love that you said that because my husband, I think he's finally starting to get the clue that he needs to change some things about his lifestyle. He he's always been super thin and you know he's he just turned fifty this year. He gets US during the fifty club this year and he's noticed that, you know, he's got a little taught me going, I know, and he's noticing there's metabolism is slowed down a little bit and he was seeing something to me the other day about, you know, like well, what do I got to do? Do you know what? What kind of Diet? You know, he's just kind of like I go. Nobody succeeds like that. All you need to do is you need to say, let's see, hold on their happiness. Let me finish my thought because I am like air headed today. But all you need to do is replace right. So he eats two meals a day out of a drive through window five days a week. I said so, instead of saying I'm not going to eat fast food anymore, say you know what, three days a week I'm gonna Start Eating, bringing something from home, eating breakfast at home before I leave work for the day. You know that kind of thing. So I'm totally on bored with you. Let me read happiness comment here. I feel like this is an important time for us to look after ourselves, dealing with loneliness, but also focusing on the positives, adjusting to full time virtual work life, but also enjoying more time and exercise and good sleep. Oh my gosh, yes, I'd sleep is so important. It really you know what I that's one of the things I gain in Covid I started going getting myself to bed by Zen, and before I would use that time. My kids are younger so I...

...the nighttime is the only time everybody sleeping and I get time to myself right until like midnight or later, and the hours between ten and to just commit to those right and I think I don't know all the science behind of it, apparently those and I've experienced myself, are like good hours to be sleeping and it shifted a lot for me. Wow. Yeah, yeah, I struggle with sleep. It's like I had insomnia for ten years and I went to a hypnosis program and it helped a lot deal with those issues that were causing me not to sleep. But now I feel like I'm taking on some new issues that I'm not quite ready to talk about yet. Will Happen. It'll happen in the future, but it's yeah, it does like any any time anything is externally like I feel like it's kind of not something I have total I want to stay control, because that doesn't sound like what I really want to say. When it feels like I don't have any input into the outcome of it, then it causes me to not be able to sleep. So that I'm just going to leave that different. Tony robins quote on that is your happiness is directly proportional to the amount of uncertainty that you can comfortably put into your life. I love that and if you could send me that, really I love that. I need to put that close to me. You're like, that was long. You need to write that down. Yeah, I remember that. You know what? I also heard you talk today, when I was listening to the podcast again, about how when you're in your feminine and you get kingry. Yes, that's the emotion that really shows up for me and I think it's common, especially with with women that have been, you know, mom's and doing if they're or just the feminine in general isn't allowed so much to get angry generally, and so when you get into Feminine Movement Work, it's about what your body needs to express and letting your mind fall away. Right. So it's body led movement and that doesn't care what anybody thinks about it. Right. So what comes out of me is, like you know, like I and and I don't know if it'll eclipse at some point, like you know, or if that's really kind of a signature of how my body likes to move. You don't really know. That's that's kind of how the Feminine Movement Journey Works, is is it? Sometimes it's really who you are at your core and sometimes it's just something that really needs to pass through. Wow, and so this is what you do at your retreats? Yeah, we, you know, it's I'm an s factor teacher and feminine movement is this immersion, right. So it's really getting women to let all the what look sexy, what what they think will be cute or whatever, and step outside of that and become selfish of what feels...

...good. And we slow down the movement quite a bit and get them and actually slow down the amount of movement. Sometimes I reach like we put them down on the floor and, you know, make them money like, because you know you want to make it kind of big and and and go all over the place. But it could be as simple as embodiment. When you really get into it, could be as simple as really in my heart how, you know, how do I want to be touched? Right, that's simple movement of the honesty of it. So when you start doing this as a practice, it gives your body the skill of allowing emotion to come in and go out right. And our movements now they get a little trapped. HMM. So when they go to your retreat, not only do they experience it for the first time, some, oftentimes probably like, they go home with this new skill that they can do. Yeah, it's giving them a practice that they can they can bring with them and it's not about it's not about pleasing anyone else. You know, I the husbands are generally happy because they can see that it brings out their authenticity, it brings out their happiness and they're there's a piece that comes with doing this work. That and honestly, you look more beautiful, full because all of your your considerations, all of your stuff that kind of tightens your face and does all these things have a have a path to melt off of you and we at our core when we're in our body. It's universally beautiful. It doesn't matter, like it doesn't matter what body looks like when you're doing those movements that are uniquely you. Is why I love the work, because when these women really come like who they really are come out, it's amazing. Like crying just thinking about it. Sounds so fascinating. It's so how does someone find out about how they can like join when your retreats or something as your website? Any further along than that of my funnel up, which is on my there's I have a new funnel up which is for a program called the being path, but also just booking with me on my just like a discovery call with me, and I travel for like. I could do like I could be a part of a retreat, like I can come. That's you know, or whatever, or doing classes. I'm not doing really. I'm doing retreats because the classes I want to be. I don't really enjoy the virtual because I like to be really in it and it's it just it's such a beautiful experience and I like in the immersion experience is powerful because, you know, as factor,...

...offer weekly classes, but you're not. Immersion really dumps you into it and gives your body time to to feel safe and to start to assert herself. So yeah, so I travel, I do retreats. Yeah, so if somebody listening says, oh my Gosh, I've got this group of women I meet with regularly, this sounds like wonderful. What would be the best way for them to get hold of you? Just you can through the Instagram, just message me, and that's probably the easiest way to start there. Just just message through my being reef, you know, this whole funnel and website. Think it's like the bane of my existence right now. I so I'm so frustrated with it. I just have to laugh because it's like, okay, how could I like be this intelligent woman that I am and, you know, doing all the other things that I'm doing? I mean, I figured out podcasting. I can't figure out my website. I don't know. I know what and I mean I just got my new site of and what the I think the whole balances you you don't want it to be anything you're selling. It's really you're just trying to put what is authentically you out on the page in a way that someone can understand it, and so you're always kind of like like, you know, toggling back and forth. Is that? And and then you get there right, like I feel really good about where my my program I just put it out, but it was a journey. Yeah, it is, it is, it's and I you know, like I said, but I'm vacation and I said that it's one of my goals to, you know, try it. You know how it is when you come back from vacation, like it takes you days freakover for getting on vacation. So yeah, yeah, it's on my bucket list. But you know, the other thing I wanted to make sure that any woman that is considering or women that are intrigued by the baby think it doesn't apply to them. Is just just to say, like my journey into it, I every woman kind of gets into that room of the you know, the s factor room, at with different considerations, different things that make them want to run out. For me it was my body image issues and being afraid to be seen. Some women don't feel safe with other women. You know, there's all sorts of stories that happen and the the the cool thing about aspector is it creates sisterhood, its strengthens sisterhood. So I say to any woman, I invite that you come in honoring your body, if your body says I need to be completely covered and I'm going to stand in the corner, and that's all it is. That's all it is right and and so there's a space for every woman with every thought and fear to be able to come and and really see what's possible for them. Well, you know what Theresa and having a Woman's retreat is like my big Harry audacious goal. I don't know if you ever heard of a big Harry outdacious goal. I just I have this vision in my head and it's not complete yet. But you know...

...what, now you will be part of that vision for as. I need to experience this for sure. Yeah, wait, this is my wheelhouse. I love retreats. Their FANTASIC, I know, and and you know, just to be around another, you know, just like a group of women who are so like minded and so invested in their growth, like it's just an experience set every woman should should be able to be a part of it. Yeah, it's better. All right, it's time for our game. Okay, here we go. So I think come across really any really really hard, hard questions, but you never know, I'm stuffling the deck. As we see, this is that's coming at me right now. Okay, are we ready? Yeah, so I'll throw it to you and then I'll answer when you're done. Okay, Oh, this is a good one. Okay, who is the best female role model in your life? Oh my God, I'm all about the feminine. How do I pick one? I know right that this will be tough. I mean, you know, you want to say your mother first, for the I think I want to want to say something relatable, you know, for me. Oh, this is so hard. Why is this time? Question? Okay, I'm going to give you a minute because I want to read. Happiness. Is comment here? Why you think about that? Okay, so she's saying thank you for another integrating session. How I wish I could do this. Moving our body in a mindful way is different than exercising. So Nice. Some Day, wish she visit, I think, Philippines and do these sessions in Bora, Borak Island. Oh, I'm all about that tree. So I don't know about you. Is this like a body positive movement? I want to be a part of this. Oh, that's so awesome. Yeah, it is. It's it's body positive by default. It's a spiritual journey. It's into you, it's into what you like, what is uniquely you, and being able to express that out into the world in a way that feels. Yeah, that's it. All right. Did you come up with your idea? I have to pick one. I'm so I'm such a squirrel, like I want to pick up everything, but I'm going to say Lizzo, because I didn't have a lot of female role models that were in like different looking, and when she showed up with that you know CD cover where she's bare ass and and beautiful and big, that just really upset my childhood apple part right, like I didn't like. I don't know what to do with that. And so having more of that, of just people fully expressing themselves as they are, you know, with no apology. What we mean? Yeah, you know, I don't really think I have one. I'm going to be really honest, like there are a lot of women in my life that I...

...pick pieces of, and I think that's probably what you would say to you know, you get a little bit from this woman, a little bit from this woman. I would say the women who on her marriage are huge up there on my list because, well, for a lot of reasons, I think women who are out there in this, this space that we're both in, making a way for themselves because, and I'll use the podcast world as an example of something that's happened recently. You know, all the stars are jumping into to podcasting now and the big businesses are jumping into podcasting and it makes it really tough for the little guy or a little woman to you know, sort of get out there and put yourself out there. So any woman that's out there right now doing her thing, showing up every day in her business, competing against some big name, those are my role models. Every single day. I see you on, I see you, I see you out there hustling and work in your business and I'm so proud of every single woman out there's, I say, doing that. That's those are my role models. I love it. Okay, question number two. Oh, here we go. Yeah, Oh, nobody already asked that one on the show, so I'm not going to do that one again. I should keep these separate. I should do that for sure, saying it. Okay, this is a good one. What's the most creative excuse to get out of something that you didn't want to do? These are tough today. Okay, you know what's funny is I actually have an answer for this, but not I don't have a creative excuse. What I have is that at this point, at this stage and who I am, I do something because I want to do it and I don't do something because I don't want to do it and I do not engage in any reason other than that. And and we realize how many times we do come up with excuses and be an excuse is an inauthenticity. At the end of the day. I this is what I am and if I want to be there, I'm there and if not, and in the most loving way. It's not a it's not a judgment on whoever. It's either I wanted to learn that, because I wanted to, or I didn't. Right like I have. I have, I have opinions about this one. So that that's my answer. I love it, actually, and I'm going to piggyback up yours a little bit, because we have these neighbors that sort of have given us an open invitation to Taco Tuesday night, every Tuesday, and you know, we bring something. I always contribute, but yesterday neither my husband nor I really felt up to it and he said...

...you don't please reach out to them, let them know we're not going to come, and I said, yeah, I'll do that. So I did. I reached out to him and he comes some later that yesterday afternoon and he says, so, what did you tell them? And I said I simply just said we're not going to make it. Yeah, you don't have to have an excuse. You don't. You just have to say thank you for inviting us. You know, will see you next Tuesday. We're not going to be able to make it today. Yeah, and the story. It is story. The minute you give something of an excuse, you give them something to measure, right, and then it becomes about that and really that has nothing to do with it. Right, right, right. So, yeah, I like that, like NATRESA. All right, last one. All Right, Oh, what do you consider yourself an expert? At an expert? I consider that I have reached there's areas I'd read mastery level, and my relationship with my husband is at mastery level. MMM, that the rules are different, like it's not even you know, it's there's not a lot of peers, and I say that not being judgmental. I'm just saying that it's in such a space that when I speak about it, I realize that I'm I'm making kind of making our own path at this point. There's not a book that's really dieting us in it. Yeah, I like that. Um Gosh, you know, I'd like the word that's that floats around well out there a lot. What you know, like what is your superpower, because I think it's easier for us to like say it in that way and it feels a little more humble than saying I'm an expert. But you know, I think I have mastered the craft of listening to what people say, but hearing what they're not saying. MMM, you know, and that's part of being a podcast interviewer and it's part of being a coach and it's part of being a mom and a wife. You know, it's like there's always like some underlying thing in there that's not being said. Is what they probably really want you to uncover for them or to dive in or care about enough to go just a little bit deeper with them on. So I'm going to say just an expert at picking up on people their body language, you know, the unspoken part of what they what they're saying, and you know. So, yeah, I think that's it. Yeah, I think you've got a couple of friends on here. Oh, do it, unleashing KB. That's carry I carry. I can't really see comments, so I don't know, it gets tough because of the comments just kind of keep going...

...down and sometimes I don't scroll them up because I'm so intent on listening to what you're saying, but my plow a little funky. Yeah, so I just want to reason. I appreciate you joining me and trees. That's Day, Theresa. Do you have any last things that you wanted to say today? No, just I'm like you said, I'm honoring women that are out there putting this stuff outs. Are Honoring you. I appreciate being part of the show and and and just what you're doing. You're right, it's you're speaking it out and doing the work, and so thank you. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, Hey, if you ever want to come back on and have some more chat time with me, to send me a quick message. I'll make it work. Feel I'm sorry having you today. It was nice to see you again, Teresa. You too, take care. By thank you so much for joining me. I hope you enjoyed today's conversation as much as I did. If you'd like to continue the conversation, come on over and join our private facebook group what women want today, and love to hang out with you some more there. Any resources mentioned in today's episode will be in the show notes. You can find me on facebook and Instagram at what women want to day podcast, or visit my website at what women want to daycom please remember to subscribe, download and share. Leave me a review. It helps other amazing women find the show and become a member of our community. One last thing for you today. You are not alone. You are worthy of love and a book filled like now it's time to go after it.

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