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What Women Want Today
What Women Want Today

Episode 48 · 9 months ago

The Midlife Mentors - Claire & James Davis

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Claire & James Davis are a mid life, award winning duo and owners of world renowned fitness brand 38 Degrees North and creators of the phenomenally successful, five star rated ‘The Midlife Mentors’ podcast.

The Midlife Method has been developed over the past 10 years – backed by years of research, experience and client transformations – that’s had a profound and lasting impact on the lives it’s touched.

The science based method promises strength and resilience in body, mind and emotional wellbeing– giving clients the ultimate step by step toolkitthey need to regain control, reduce stress and dramatically improve their quality of life.

Claire & James continue to be a force of truth and integrity in the health and wellness industry – demystifying the fads, fake promises and pseudo science that plague our news feeds

CONNECT WITH James & Claire

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Hello and welcome to the what women on today podcast. You might be asking yourself right about now. Well, what do women want? I mean we're pretty complex creatures right. Well, I think we want it all, and I'm here to export with you. My name is Terry Kellum's. I'm your host. Go grab your favorite beverage. I've already got my glass of wine and let's get started. Hello and welcome to another episode of the what women want today podcast. My name is Errie callums and today I am joined by James and Claire Davis of the Midlife Mentor's podcasts and of three degrees north. I'm so happy to have both of you with me today. How are you already very, very well here? Thank you for hiring is Terry's greatly. There's a pleasure. I'm glad we got the time phone thing worked out today. Yes, is that we've had where I'm online class and I'm not supposed. Well, it's good. It's all good. So you guys. I am so excited about our conversation today. I feel like we have so many things in common. But I before we jump in, I just want to hear a little bit about your background. Each one of you. I know you have a very long list of credentials and I'd like all the listeners to know what you guys have done before you got to this point. Giants, would you like stocks? Yeah, be here for about six years. So basically what I set up and kid we've bought back in swoopersand and twelve, I think it was, in a be firm. It's a fitness holiday company, basically to create a new style of retreat. It was about working the body out, also coaching with the mind as well. and wasn't the old thing of like, oh, we're just going to feed you the bit of rice and best us like no, we're going to have a luxury hotel you there's healthy food, you can eat what you want, a drinks if you want. It's all about the power tools go forward. So we've got a grew that. I was married at the time, not to me, not Claire. There's a twist, not twist we got. We've got separated force and then Clare came into my life and then together we've gone procured to strength, created the midlife mentors so that the middit mentals really leverages, like our joint batters of expert talk about her, but my backman is I. So it's psychology universe that were a bea and a master's in Applied Psychology, also qualifications in coaching, nutrition, Dart Health. I'm a personal trainer to kind of bringing all those elements together with what the retreat to do in a retreats actually were very useful to us. We've got trained thousands and thousands of people, which means you get like great experience. In case that didn't you see the similar patterns and things that preventing. And then about two years ago, I just over now years ago. Let's let me know we're both that age. Now, let's start specializing in Midlife. Let's show people that, you know, it's not beginning of the year, it's a chance to embrace so I can act with joy and live it healthy and happily and really decide who were what you want to be this amazing second part or light. Yeah, Abso it's like that started with the midlife mentors podcast that you mentioned. That was two thousand and nine, early two thousand and nineteen, which seems like a million years ago now, and that was just James and I kind of wanted to share our knowledge, Our fun side and our passion for helping midlifers, and then that just going constraints to saying I think we're in the top one point five percent of global podcast now, which we're thrilled about because we don't monetize it, we just get on there, we have some guests and we have banter and lots of fun, and so that's something my mentals. But my background. So I actually started off in PR and my first job was at Harrod's. Absolutely hated it for years and years, about fourteen, fifteen years. I hated what I did. So tried so many different things...

...but because of a lack of self confidence, and this this whole thing I always talk about impostor syndrome, you know, I would start a business, I was became a life coach, a stress management consultant, N LP. So did all these things quite young because I knew I wanted to help people. That was it. Reached their potential. But I lost confidence in myself each time I set up a new business or wanted to go for it, and I keep going back into pr and it was only finally when I went through my divorce and then actually was put on anti depressence, it made me really look at my house. Actually, at that point I was kind of moist of the mindset stuff, but I looked at nutrition and training and that's when I was like I found my thing here. So I qualified in all of that and they're now like James of saying is we now confine all the mindset, so the emotional wellbeing, the physicality of the nutrition, everything all in one package. So when we found each other it all kind of came to the magic. Yes, yes, and then, you know, then I wanted to find a way to not be on answer presents, and you know I'm not answer them. They save lies. But for me, the whole finding nutrition, it got health, hormone exercise, looking at all of that and how it really helped me actually come off them. That's that was my passion about helping other people regain it. How our giving other people lifestyle tools that can help them in my body and self. I love that. I love that your guys, and actually was one of the questions that's malantly asked you to bear was why you decided to work with mid life people. But I actually love what you said. Jeans like we don't. I think you know, FA fay in a path has painted midlife. There's just sort of this flowing down period for a lot of people. You know, that's settle in, let's invest in a rocking share and just, you know, sit in front of the TV all day. And that is not me. I am not a TV, rocking chair kind of girl and I'm loving midlife and I think that's probably what drew us together, with this common interest in seeing midlife people bribe. I mean, if you had a family, this is the time of your life probably where your family doesn't need you as much anymore and all of a sudden you have this opportunity to really focus in on yourself and what's your passions are and which our purposes and what brings you fulfillment. And I'm so excited that the three of US share that blosy and that you're helping people, because what you guys do, I mean obviously you have so much knowledge between the two of you. What you're doing is really connecting all the ducks. Yeah, yeah, there's a lovely thing for you to say, because I do feel that's that's the result that much from going through our program working with asked whether it's the Greek one or the ones warm is you know, they do get an inside out transformation and they understand themselves a lot better. So awareness proceeds change. What you're not aware of you can't change. So people aren't even aware. They just don't also pilot. And then they get the stage in their life and they're not happy and they're not fulfilled and they've got all these things things in their life, the status that, the material things, the the Han't that whatever, all these things. I thought we're going to make them happy, and then they get to this midlife point and they're like, oh my goodness, like I don't know why I'm not happy. It's because there's like a lack of I. They're not giving themselves permission to look at themselves and prioritize themselves. But they don't have awareness of why they aren't very happy or that they don't feel comfortable in their own ski all that they're sluggish. So all these things, and that's hopefully what we do with our program is touch on the mental side of things,...

...like the belief systems that we have, the self identity and the feelings of fear, they impostera the in a critic, all that sort of stuff, as well as working on a physical and nutrition. Yeah, Oh, I see that. I see that that you know, little guys that are woman sitting on your shoulder in so many people. Who Do you think you are to do this at this point in your life? Well, what makes you think that you can be successful at, you know, posting a podcast, Terry or James and Claire? What makes you think you can move from the UK to Spain and start a whole new chapter of your life? You know, and we have to just click that little that little guy or girl up our shoulder like all the time, because the brain wants to be negative. The brain wants you to stay exactly where you are, in your little comfort zone on in your comfortable in the world and that growing stretch. And I think that's where so many people get caught up is they want something, they're not, wait sure what it is, and then that little that little things whispering in their ears says, don't you just want to keep doing what you're doing? It's safe, it's exactly it. You hit the nail on the hider. We must remember by Midlife we've got this like bundle of habits, beliefs, behaviors and we tend to think them as fist. We like well, that this is the person I am now. We need to understand is like we have a choice. We decide what we want to go for and then the model on new beliefs, on new behaviors around that golf and literally step into that person, become that person and achieve what you want to achieve. You know, I think all people get start because they're just like, Oh, you know, I've ended up just sat on the couch watching TV, in junk food. Is this is just this? Is it now? No, I mean that's just your conditioning from from whenever to now, but tomorrow's always a new day. Can Start to change that, stop, start to make new choices, better choices, step into a new identity that's going to rely on you with the success that you want. That's what we help people do. Yeah, and it's so true. I've seen it in myself. It's something I see in myself, seeing James, see in all of our clients. It's eighty percent mindset. So you know, this is where most people go. Do Go wrong? Is it? They're constantly trying to do something different. It's all external. It's looking to external thing, doing something different. So I become different, but it's a completely wrong way round. It's like you have to kind of become something in your own mind and believe it and actually start adapting your habits and your behavior, and then you become the person with the doing so that they were relying so they conquer with it. So your actions and your belief systems are aligned. That's how you create powerful, long lasting change. Soly, and so you know, this podcast is the first podcast of the brand New Year two thousand and twenty two, and so often people are going to set that goal or set that resolution that says this is the year, this is the year that I am going to become healthier, lose weights, whatever they you know, whatever they're telling themselves. But how can they let themselves up for success? So we kind of started going down that path a little bit. Let's let's go there for a couple minutes. How you take that person where as that desire so strongly at the beginning of the year? How do you keep them going? Still? So everyone makes those resolutions. I think the stats all I think it's February is actually store yes, which I get start. I'm going to come this new person, I'm going to lose that white bull that business and it's hard. So six weeks in you're kind of like this is too hard. Yeah, you've got that. That in a voyees going to the TV or you filed again. We found again what we need to realize. He is like, first of all, we need to have a really emotional connection to our goal. It's nice to doing flippant like going, Oh, I just want to lose some weight. That's that's great, but why do you want to lose it? DIG INTO IT? Is it because, like carrying that way, it means you're not like what you see in the mirror. You mean that you're losing your confidence, which means then you're not that you're out there self, out there as much as you would do. Maybe you start...

...to feel your relationships. I can really get in connect with the emotion of why you want to change number one. That why, the path of why? The emotional connection, the thing's going to get you go. Once you have that, I mean we do you buck Roil of n LP. It's as not called future rehearsal. So spend time envisioning yourself at point in the future when you achieve that guy, but really flows your eyes us as much of your imaginations. You can like bringing all the senses site. Sounds Yeah. What are you wearing? Who You with? How people reacting to you? Really importantly, though, how are you feeling? What's the emotion there? And the more you rehearse that, the more you're priming your subconscious to make that the path where you're going to take. So I practical side. Most of us make these resolutions but then fail to do the plan behind it right. So we're all used probably doing plans to being in working or a business environment. They've got Oh, I've got my plans, smart, the smart goal. We don't do it for our personal life, which is crazy. So, if you want to lose weight, start to get specific how much you want to lose by when? How are you going to do it? What then you believe some behaviors you need to achieve it and start breaking it down into achievable step to you've or actually you know, a plan or a road matt to get to your destination, rather than just having this morphous gold of some sort. I'd also say make sure that you've got a good team around you. Get some accountability, you know, get a budding, whether whether that is a coach, whether that's someone, in fact, as anyone, that can help you stay accountable and like if you feel comfortable sharing your wife, sharing what it's really really important to you. So they help keep you on track. One of the other things I would say. You know, we really dive into belief systems. So actually understanding what your obstacles which is really really key. Understanding what obstacles are going to come up in your way, because it's not going to be playing sailing. So understanding what they are before they come up and having a plan to navigate them is really essential. One of the biggest things that's going to come up you yourself. You need to get out your own way. It's kind of understanding what that negative Nancy in your head is saying and rewriting a script for yourself when the going gets tough, that you've got some affirmations to go to, that you've got a new strip to script to go to. That is rewiring and rehardwiring the brain, because we know from euroscience that we can't a hundred percent reprogram our mind. It's neuroplasticity. So we know that we can do that with certain tools. So understanding what what is holding you back, which is you and having a plan to navigate that is really, really important. Awareness is most of the most of the game, one of you, know, knowing what's going on, what your triggers are, what your behave, what your behavior is, what belief systems driven behind that. It's your story. It's the story that you've told yourself about who you are and what you're capable of. And what I always love to say is, you know, you're the Harper. Yeah, you're the one writing the story. So let's just put the point chapter so right, the one you want? Yeah, and one of the things that always say, Terry, and it really struck me when I first heard this. So it's something we've adopted, goodness knows where from, but you cannot out to perform your own self identity. Yeah, so get to know what your self identity is, the awareness piece. Get to know why you keep self sabotaging, what's going on there? What's the self identity, so that you can start writing a new story. Right. So are you just kind of talking about in some pims? We're talking about like triggers, like things that kind of get you off the path of where you're paying to go. Okay, yeah, that's a lot of good triggers are like triggers are signpost to learning. You might get a random event, like, you know, someone cuts you up in the car. That's a trigger base just annoying thing. If you're seeing certain things, it's certain things that triggering you all the time, that's a clue to something. You need to go back and look at yourself. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and the again we talk about the trigger, how it comes up in the body,...

...how it shows up in the bodies of what your body does when you get triggered. That's how you know whether it's a positive or negative trigger, and then what your behavior is, what happens, and then what the belief system is behind that, so that you can start really being conscious of the trigger, changing the behavior, but essentially understanding what the belief system is. You need to look at and start shifting that are depins at all. Yeah, I could not agree on more of that statement, because when I'm working with a coaching client and she or he, mostly she, I don't think. Maybe we're good one or two men over over the time, but I'll say and she's telling me a story about something and I think how uch your body feeling? You know? Yeah, we're what's your pasture like? We're where's are? You are your shoulders up around your ears as you're breathing heavy. You know you have a feeling in the pit of your stomach like tell me about how your body feels when you're telling me the story, as replaying it from from the actual theme that it actually happened, and that's a big clue. That's a big clue to start paying attention to your body signals. I love that. Yes, and actually just the way that we live our life now. We're so disconnected from being grounded in our body, listening to our body. Everything so automatically. Even eat completely unconsciously. Everything's just nothing is very conscious at the connection to our body, and technology is kind of made it even worse. We were having this conversation about, you know, watches, fitness watches and all these sorts of things. You know, people they're good, they're really good to motivate an inspired of people, don't get me wrong, but some people can get obsessed with it and then use that piece of technology to tell them how their body's working or how it's feeling. So again, it's another way it is connecting how it feels, how does it feel to you? How did that work out feel to you? You Know How's the day felt? How did that sleep feel to you, without looking at watch saying Oh, you know that that's what's sleep I've had. This is how it's telling me I'm feeling. Because that makes sense. Yeah, it doesn't. Also, when you were saying that, I was thinking the same with the scale. You know, you couldn't. You can be right on your game, doing studying, setting all your goals and hitting everything, doing your workout, eating healthy, sleeping, having the great mindset, and then you step on that scale and it says you weigh a pound or two more than what you thought it should and it deflates your whole mindset. Yeah, it's crazy, the sad set. We're not scales. It's so it's about it, you know. It's about how comfortable feel in your own skin. It's a health isn't address sized. That how comfortable you feel in your skin. And so, yeah, completely agree on that. So you both share that. You went through divorce and I went through divorce in two thousand round, two thousand and ten, two thousand and eleven, and I went on what I call the divorced Diet. Which is totally lose your episode epithe and you lose a shit turn away. But I did. I last like fifty five pounds and I needed to low thumb of it. Some of it was excess, but for sure. But then I got too skinny and I did become obsessed. I became obsessed with that number on the scale a little bit. And, if I'm being really, really honest and transparent, which I always tryed to do on my podcast, there was a lot of things going on in my life and that was the thing I thought I could control. You know, yes, I would say that number and, and this is kind of actually, kind of really gross, to be honest with you, but I would reach down and I would grab my hip bone and I would see how how much I could feel of it. And it became like a weird thing, like I can't control this thing that's going on with my job, I can't control this thing that's going on with my personal life and many different relationships, but I can choose not to eat, I can choose that deprive myself of things and just continue to drop this weight. and Res Night Resonates with me, as it so so much. I started that behavior...

...when I was ninety and it really. It didn't really and it was one thing I could be. It was a form of punishment for me. But, as you know, our self losing. I hate going on a real self loading lack of self worse. So I thought I'll punish myself, but at the same time it was the only thing I can take. It was mine, it was the only thing of control and I had to help. People tell me that I was getting way too thin and I rejected that. I was like, no, that's not it's actually the worthy you are. You. I was happy when people said that I'm a kind it's working. I'm glad people can see that. You know, I'm at least good at something. Yeah, I'm good at me. I'm good at being skinny. Yeah, that's so true. I never thought about it like that there, but I looked at my wedding pictures, because I was at my very lowest rate about the time I got remarried and that was my weak up call. I look different pictures around that time in my life and I was like, oh my gosh, I did not look good. I thought I did. Yeah, I thought the low number I'm really equated to how good I looked on the outside, but on the inside I was so unhealthy, not only with my thoughts, but I was I had stomach issues, I wasn't sleeping like it was just it was I was a hot mess. When you experience as well with your divorce? Yeah, I basically also training my body. It was all brilliant. I'm so, so rich. It was like you did terrible. Yeah. Well, we were friends first. So we were friends and you know, interestingly, when I got to force Ja, this is a sandy joke because it's so good that I relationship can be like this. But James, when he saw me after my divorce, he was like, whoa close for all loads of white. I put on loads, actually did, and it was away alcohol, you know, just dreaming those about whole. But then when I saw him and after he's gone through his relationship break up, I was like, oh my goodness, you look after the ill and they're so interesting that we saw each other before that and we saw, you know, the impact that was happening to us through the divorces, and then we've got together. Well, you know, it's interesting about you too, and when I listened to in your banter and you're going back and forth and teasing each other, and so you really have seemed to, in Midlife, found this very wonderful special relationship. I think it like it comes through when you watch you on Youtuber, if you're listening to on the PODCAST, or if I see you on instagram. So tell me a little bit about how you guys met and how did you go from friends to marriage, to running this business together and moving to Spain. Let's hear a little bit about that story. So you'll see the latest real that I did. Where were? It was very obvious I stood him up. Yeah, we have to do that one. So we've not. We've been we've been friends for a while and then we hadn't see you too. Yes, and obviously my marriage broke up and we didn't know each other's marriage is. Are Broken off pretty much the same time. I was in a big clear in UK. It was about three, four or five months after that we found out each other was separated and single, and then I was desperate to get clear out to Beta. So I did, but she may she was very naughty. She's just keep sending up on dates. I'd fly to London to meet her and then I won't be able to get hold of her and then I get a text going no, no date, no, now, your mate, mistress, I am not a horrible, mean person, I just going through a lot chre I saw it clues and we actually did it kind of. We kind of had something and then left it, popped it, and then...

...after a while we just found each other again and then it felt so right that time, and it's just gone from there. Why invited it? He after all of that, although Shenanigan's, I then invited him to go for a day, and that was in Soho House in London, which is very special, sources, where we went frought homoon night and where you proposed as well. So, yeah, I invited him on a day and then from that point onwards, once I've done kind of my own healing, and also there were a lot of people that didn't want us to get together. You want to get to the once I put all everyone else's opinions aside. It's a real learning for me. Everyone else's opinions aside and just went for it, and then there was no stopping us. I was moving over to a beat that within a couple of months everyone thought I was crazy. I just gone from there really yeah, you know, it's funny. Eight so I met my husband. Have your theme in life as well, and I think had and I actually talked about this in the podcast because I saw your post about thinking your thank your thank you letter to your life and it really like touched me and I wrote it actually a podcast. The recorded a podcast episode about it last week and and I said in there, you know, that I don't know that my husband would have been in love with the person I was before I went through all of that. You know what I mean. And so I feel like, you know, meeting somebody well, you goes for friends first, but meeting somebody in midlife almost as like they're getting the real you, because I feel like women find their voice in Midlife much, so, much, much more so than you know, the s or s so clear. Do you see a difference in yourself, in the way that you project yourself out to the world now in Midlife and you did when you were younger? Very Great, yeah, Oh, oh, like the pain. I hold it. We did the podcast on this about confidence and everything, and that was borne out of a post that I did and about about confidence and the pain constantly wanting to deliver something in the world. Not from an ego place, but from a place of this is what I'm born here to do. I'm born here to serve and help other people who are amazing about themselves and reach their potential. That is what I'm here to do. And for sixteen years I just there was all this like termal inside me of just stopping myself because because I didn't have the confidence within myself, I I was scared to be seen and heard. I hadn't I hadn't dealt with some of the traumas that I heard been through. And you know, I would say actually meet seeing James. I did step into my power before getting together with James, I really really did. I made some insane decisions, powerful decisions, like leaving my job and going back to minimum wage working in a gym in you know, wiping sweat off of because I knew of Jimmy Cut, because I knew what I've found my thing. So I stepping into my power, but it wasn't until I met James, worked through a hell of a lot more baggage, worked on my set and then, and then this guy allows me to shine and he's not afraid of me, and that's that's what I've always pete. I've always felt like if I shone too brightly, I'm taking something away from someone else. Wow, very power, claire. You you help it. James helps me shine because I know I'm safe to and that's the thing. Ever, you know, women, we don't meant and women, you know, it's about safety. It's about not being feeling safe to express ourselves because you know we might see a megotistical, we might seem too much, we're too much, too loud or too power apple, which you passionate, and I don't feel like I'm any of those things. Even this rap that I'm going on now. James is listening to this and...

...he loves it and that and I know that it's a safe place for me to be myself. I love that. So, James, do do men go through something similar when they get Midlife, to do come into a different place and mentally invade your head that you feel like you're finally the person that you've been working towards your whole life? For me, yeah, sure, I mean, I think. I think it's a tricky phase for a lot of me and I think a lot of when that I speak to actually end up losing their confidence a bit, because I think that's tied up maybe with the male menopause and the psychological impact there. They start to doubt themselves a bit. But for me, I've spend a lot of time when I was younger, like Claire, I guess I'm very concerned other people thought what we're opinion be, what people think, what other people think. You know what, what do you do? All? You don't someone's going to have an opinion on you anyway, so you might as well do the thing you want to do. Yeah, hello, and that's where he got simple time make clear, kind of can't. My divorce shot my confidence, but I was building it back up again and you know, now I'm in the place where I'm not I'm just not afraid to do stuff. I'm confident in my own skin. Yeah, not afraid to let let laisure. I love seeing her shine because I don't feel threatened by it because you know, I'm I'm comfortable say, in my own my own power. I'm not too worried about other people's opinion and to do ro one anyway. But I know for a lot of people it can it can be a tricky time and again. It's often they can find themselves, all three of us here, if we're going to sing of coming to a divorce point. And you always have to restart, rethink and restart your life. I'm sure you had this. You have to really think about who you are and what you do want going forward and like maybe like a bit of why did that? Why did that not play out right for me? What can I learn from it and where I go from here? But I think if you've been in a long term relationship without those kind of things happening, some themes, you can feel like I've actually lost a bit of my identity here. HMM, that's old. I've compromised for a long time and actually now I don't then you I am particularly and I think of the age. You know you can we give it. A lot of yourself to raising a family, pursuing your career, and for a lot of people that kind of questioning like well, actually, who am I and what do I want? And I think the pandemic and you know, putting people locked up at home from comms just kind of exacerbated that. Certainly we've seen that people so busy before you know you kind of I get up, I feed the kids, I go to work, I get back, I watch TV for an hour and go to bed. But alsidely they're like lots of home. They're like I'm going to join this job that I'm doing, that I'm like here remote working on what do I want to do with my life? And I just want to reinforce everyone that, however you're feeling, Midlife is a time when you can, you can take charge and just make such amazing changes and you still got half like left, like use it. Yeah, one of the things I want to say as well about about the male and female and dynamic when you get to Midlife. What you touched on, Terry, is that women do actually start finding their voice, their power, their potential, their purpose, their passion, and the men can get quite threatened by that. Is the time that we see because, you know, you might have as a woman, you've been jogging out some things, you might have a cree M, I've had your family is like. But at this time a lot, I work with a lot of women that are finding their voice. I know are opening themselves up to be seen and heard, and the men are like, Whoa, wo wo, Whoa, what is this? I'm feeling threatened and confused. Here I'm feeling left behind. And then they're men, don't be threatened, let your women shine. Yeah, yeah, because what threatens they are and more the woman's going to push it away. And you know, it's all about ourselves and our own journey.

So, men, step into your power, step into your purpose. That's how you're going to keep the flame alive. That's how you're not going to feel threatened, is to focus on yourself. I agree. Thought there's a question for you to you. Since you do have this business together and obviously cohabitate together. Do you ever stop talking about Your Business and just have James and Claire Without the business talk? Try we even have. We try, we try sit in the rules about we went to talk about it. If we will be doing like a date, a day night, we just don't talk about it. If we do, you date, we can them's. Went to Si bill last yes, amazing. We don't talk about what it's hard because it's all passionate. Another some of you like get a flash of inspiration, but oh, I just had this idea. What do you say? But we were the point. Now it's where you come say yeah, well, that sounds great, let's talk it for now. Pick it up from the back and work is if you if you're working together as a couple, is really important to make that subtinction between work and play. Make sure you're getting enough play as well as a much yeah, I think that goes for even couples who don't work together. Right, couples, we played together, stay together. That's right. That's right. So you, guys, let's shifts. Folk, shift focus here just a little bit. I want to talk a little bit more about Your Business and what you do, and I guess what am my burning questions for you is a personal one. So for years I have eaten healthy. I'm healthy eater. I am very active. I have two different mountain paths that either hiker walk on every day, depending on which path it is, and I've done like Yoga, stretching in that and and, but, and suddenly it's not working as well. And add to that, which I think a lot of Menapa a woman would say, is I'm not a thing about it. Eggs and pains that prohibit me from doing some of the more strenuous workouts. So what kind of mid debase do you give to a woman who's seeing the things that I'm saying you're a guy or, I'm sure glad to say, I think is this is so, so common. There's a lot of more monel he's going on, which is not physiological changes, which I let Claire Talk To. The main can be trying and encourage men our women to do, though, is, if you're not already do start some form of resistance training. The main or modal driver's happening is like we're losing our muscle masks and our strength muscles, what we call metabolically active. You know, the more muscle we have, more calories with burning evening at rest and we start to lose that muscle. Of course, you know we tently tend to like the food in energy and is staying the same, constant, but a metables in the rate which were burning it off is going down to start to like put on extra bat because excess energy is always body fat. So it doesn't have to be going to a gym and pumping eye and it can be using at having something stable like some some resistance bands, a kettle, about spending like twenty thirty minutes twice a week. That would be enough to start making a difference. Deserve that muscle mass. It helps with your bone density as well, and this once on our youtube channel. So the MIDLIFE mentors you to channel and we go there. We've got lots of resistance workouts with because of eyes and bands. It's just such such an important thing, you know, at Midlife and beyond, because otherwise, you know, we've all seen that those people we know in there, like s s in the nurse and homes that you know, a frail and we can can't get out the chair. We don't. We want to make sure we don't end up in that place by starting to work in a reserve the muscle matter that we have now and keep that bondansity high. So resistance training and it does make a big difference to so many highers. Like if you're doing other exercise, that's great. You should still be doing your higher stupable mountain walks. You eating healthy is great, but really that resistance training and will help. It's any ways in it evening helps shown to help will brain health as well. Yeah, and we're were we always say, if you don't use it, you'll lose it. So I know that lots of people have aches and pains and it can actually stop them doing it. They need to find some forms of exercises, and bands are great...

...for just a bit of resistance but also being quite supportive. So resistance bands are really good for building up the strength the ligaments and for the joints as well. Where things I would say, and just on the nutrition side, is you know, if you're eating the set, it's the one. There's so many things I could say about nutrition around midlife women, but one of the things is all of us are becoming more insulin resistant as we're aging, which obviously means we're at less able to process a sugar in our blood system. So so actually, if you're eating really high gi cards late at night and a big meal, you're spiky in your insulin. You're less able to process and sugar in your blood. What doesn't get used up? You having a big meal, Hygi, car potasque, potatoes, pastor rice, all those sorts of things, you're going to bed with that. You're not using it up, because hards used for energy fro. You're not using it up, it gets drawed as body fat. So making sure that you're yeah, but you're not eating don't. Don't not eat carbs, but front load them in the day. Eat good quality carbohydrates are slow releasing, and also eat more protein. We see loads of people are eating enough protein. Protein triggers the Hormone Leptin, which is your iyem full formone. So making sure that you've got good quality of protein for every single meal as well keep you feeling for like. It also helps with muscle repair. Okay, so that makes not a sense. And you know, I actually learned from your toil, from listening to you, that influence of hormone. I didn't even know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we become worth able to process influent every age of that. That help works. Yeah, it'sling. Essentially regulates our blood sugar levels. So when we really simple terms of it, eat food, it's changed into sugars, which is carbo hydrate energy, and we run off largely of carbohydrate energy. But as are become more interteing resistant but basically less able to effectively turn that energy we're taking with food to energy available forers use now. So it's more like be stool. So that's why the extreme end of internews distance is type to diabetes. Yeah, and it's you know, and then you add alcohol to the mix. So again alcohol is you know, mostly it's just pure sugar as well. So again, so you're eating quite you're even sugars in everything as well. Sugar is the devil, it mean, it really really is. You, we need to be looking at anything on the back of packets. Look at look at your sugar in take. So, yeah, I've noticed that, like when they when they put something that's like fat free, quote unquote, you look at the sugar and the sugar is ow it way higher. Yeah, because when you take the fat out of something it loses its type. So you have to do you have to put sugar in it. So all these hopey balls that you see, you know, these protein balls, he's so most of them, huge majority of them, allows it with sugar. And again that's the thing that's been linked to depression as well. And so I sugars linked to anxiety, depression in information in the gut, information in the brain. So we really really needs to be careful about our sugar in take because we're becoming instan resistant as well. HMM, okay, so so that's one of the things you both talked about. Right in I saw the six pillars. So nutrition exorcize mental and emotional help with on the I believe or I'm just paraphrasing. I'm I don't remember exactly what they were. I can put them into show notes. But so this is this is kind of how you work with a client and I know you have worked out as well. So tell us about about some of the ways that you work with people. Okay, so we have our program so we have the original eight week midlife methods, which is a combination everything you just talked about there. Basically it's, you know, it's a movement plan, it's nutritional coachings will look at the the impact of hormones and how to work with your body. Will looking like things like had it still please. The mental side, building emotional resilience and there's accountability,...

...they know, supported with private community group calls every other week and we're just like on permanent hands to subsistant help people. I've rolled out a program specifically the midnight men. It's going to twice a twelve week program called rise, which just goes into so much more debt and he's more more from my psychology NLP toolkit as well to really like in bed and empowered, deep change, lasting change for people. So it's, yeah, going to get you amazing physical results and the workouts and nutritional coaching, but it's about really shifting your mindset and it's stepping into that power of being at awakened man that can laugh and be over and be vulnerable, but it's still power from strong. I love that. I just see you listen to that and I just I just saying a greeting. So just so, yeah, some terms they wish they were videoed. They love the look those if when you're looking at it, a beautiful thing. I think it's so, so neat to the program at James Put together with rise. He's on the Beta has had amazing results. You're going to be launching it again in January. But I'm really, really proud because you know, I know that men do find it really difficult and they need to safe space. They need a safe, safe pair of hands basically to take them through a process to become all that they could be. And you know, men don't have that network the like US women do at this age. They don't have the support and it's really, really important what you're doing. And then we're also going to be doing a midlife relationship course. It will be about twenty one day course they're going to be launching in January. Again, we run a workshop on that and the response was for nominal. But we kind of hacking it, not just from an emotional perspective but actually bringing awareness about what's going on with your hormones and even how nutrition helps, how exercise helps with your relationship. Is bringing a whole new perspective to marriage and relationships at Midlife that you might not have thought about. This affecting how you're showing up. And then, of course, the other way is our in persons. Cool retreats are back. In Two thousand and twenty two. The world is open thing as crossed will be our first one in Harba. We've got one January one in February. There this amazing emersive experiences, like we only work a ten clients at a time on those, like a long weekend, go to our six pillars. Yeah, basically, like it's like the program for condensed into a weekend, but obviously they're with you all the time. So we're really good board to be nose getting into. It's almost two years if you're round, the last one here for obvious reasons. Yeah, we only three left on that now. Yeah, let's bring us cross, but we love doing those. We get our energy for people. So so if it's full by the time that this podcast airs, will be doing another one soon after that. Okay, Great. Well, I will make sure that everybody has all that information in the show notes. I'll include any way that they can connect with you. You two are amazing. I loved our conversation today. Thank you so much for taking time on your business schedule to be here with me. You love it. Thank you so much for having us. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you enjoyed today's conversation as much as I did. If you'd like to continue the conversation, come on over and join our private facebook group what women want today, and love to hang out with you some more there. Any resources mentioned in today's episode will be in the show notes. You can find me on facebook and Instagram at what women want to day podcast, or visit my website at what women want to Daycom please remember, just subscribe, download and share. Leave me a review. It helps other amazing women find the show and become a member of our community. One last thing for you today. You are not alone. You are worthy of love and a fulfilled life. Now it's time to go after it.

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