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What Women Want Today
What Women Want Today

Episode 63 · 7 months ago

What does your legacy say?

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Is your legacy one of kindness? Generosity? Creativity? 

In today's episode we are talking about building your legacy with intentionality.

I will give you some questions you can ask yourself and I will also share some ideas on how to build, nuture and perserve your legacy.

I'd love to hear your legacy stories join me in our PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP  

Join me on FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM 

Email me at terri@terrikellums.com to request a free discovery call to see if coaching is a good fit for you.

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Hello and welcome to what women on today podcast. You might be asking yourself right about now. Well, what do women want? I mean we're pretty complex creatures right. Well, I think we want it all, and I'm here to export with you. My name is Terry Kellums. I'm your host. Go grab your favorite beverage. I've already got my glass of wine, and let's get started. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the what women want today podcast. I'm your host, Terry Callum's. I'm also a coach for Midlife women who struggle to find meaning and fulfillment in this stage of life. I hope wherever you're listening in from today is a beautiful, bright sunny day. I hope your coffee tasted amazing this morning. I know mine did. And today is supposed to be a hive, eighty nine degrees here in Arizona, but I'm just going to be grateful for the sunshine. All right. I would guess that many of us spent this past holiday weekend with some family. Maybe you brought out some of your nice serving dishes for the...

...table. One of my dearest friends was telling me about her decorated holiday table with all the beautiful place settings. Maybe you do an Easter Ay cunt with all the littles? Do you have a traditional menu in your family that you put on repeat every year? I know that's the way it was in my family. Or maybe you all dress up and go to church. Do you die Easter eggs with the kids? Or maybe, for my audience a maybe it's your grandchildren. What I'm talking about today our traditions and how they become a part of our legacy. Here's what the official definition of legacy says. What we leave behind when we die, any amount of money or property left to someone in a will or trust. In historical terms, it's handed down from one period of time to another. But, my friend, I would also insert that this is also the intangible memories and feelings people hold for you...

...when you die. As the month of April rolled in, I couldn't help but have some very wonderful memories of my grandma. The sixth of April was her birthday. She struggled hearing well on the phone, so every year around her birthday, I would handwrite a long letter and tell her all the things going on in my life, as well as ask her some questions about her and our family that lived near her, she always reply with a nice letter in response. There are some things about my grandma that had a big impact on me. She was a farmer's wife, and farming life is not easy. She cooked wonderful meals and always had delicious baked goods on the counter whenever we came to visit. She had the most unique laugh. It was wonderful. I loved hearing her love and when you tell her story that she found to be a little shocking, she would always reply. Oh. When I think about my grandma and all always comes with the thoughts that she was a...

...dedicated mother who took care of her family and she was such a hard worker. Her home was always clean and welcoming. A lot of my childhood memories include my grandmother in the kitchen cooking or wiping down the countertops, and I think she passed that trade along to me. I'm always wiping down my countertops. But anyway, when my own mother passed, she had to desire for her legacy to be that of leaving some money for her children. She told me once during one of our talks that she felt as though, though we never had much money when we were growing up and felt so good to her that she had a small life insurance policy so she was able to leave something for her children when she passed away. I immediately thought about this music box she had that belonged to her own grandma. When I was young, I knew how important that music box was to her. She would tell me stories about her grandmother and how much she loved her, and sometimes she would let me hold that music box. She'd wind it up very gently and she take...

...the little cover off and it would play this beautiful music and it was such a special time for me. As I went through her belongings, the music box was not amongst her things and I knew right away what I wanted to do with the money she left me. I wanted to buy something that I would eventually pass on to my daughter's upon my death. It had to be something meaningful to me that when they saw or maybe even war it, it would be a special a memory they could hold in their hearts. Most people don't give much thought to the legacy they leave behind, but the truth is you are creating it every single day, whether you realize it or not. I was talking to a good friend of mine in the days leading up to Easter. Both of her parents are past, like mine have, and she said to me instead of being sad that they wouldn't be with her on Easter, she would think of the happy memories and the legacy of her parents would live on through the story she shared with her children and grandchildren. She had...

...no idea on the topic of my podcast this week, but to me it was confirmation from the universe that this is something I really wanted to share with you today. So, instead of a question for you this week, I hope to inspire you with the thoughts of building your legacy intentionally. Today I'm going to give you some questions you can ask yourself, reflect on them and perhaps maybe even spend some time journaling them. I'm also going to give you some ideas of how to build, nurture and preserve your own legacy. Before we jump in, let me share today's Apple podcast review. This is from User Miss d one thousand nine hundred and twenty five, and she says listening to Terry is like talking to your best friend. She has great perspective and insight and presents it in a totally non judgmental format. Great to listen to and combat covid fatigue and isolation. Thank you, misty. I really appreciate...

...that feedback and review. Remember, if you're listening on another platform, just send me a screenshot to either my instagram account or the facebook account. I'll make sure both things are in the show notes today and I will share your review on my next episode of the podcast. Remember, if you have been left a review yet on apple, all you need to do is simply visit the page where my podcast is listed, scroll down until you see the stars. Leave me a five star review. Go down a little bit more and write the review. I appreciate those reviews so much and they do help other women find the show all right. Here are some questions you can ask yourself. Number One, what would people say about me at my funeral? Is it what I would want them to say? If not, what would I want them to say? Number two, what character traits stand out about me?...

Number three, what gifts or talents do I share with the world? Number four, do my actions reflect my values? And number five, who do I impact? Once you have an idea of what your legacy is, or which you might want it to be, it's time to start thinking about how to nurture it and preserve it. I was listening to a story recently about a woman who lost her Korean father. Her grandmother had passed about three years earlier, and as the family was clearing out his belongings, she came across a box of love letters that her grandma and GRANDPA had written to each other during the war. In addition to being something that was so meaningful for her to have, it also gave her a glimpse inside the lives of two people she had adored her whole life. My parents and grand parents are all past and I wished so badly I could still ask them some questions and hear their stories. My husband's Grannie still alive and he loves to ask her about her life growing up and some of the things that she's been through. In...

...such a gift to have those stories, and that is a great way to get to learn about the history of the family as well. So have you ever thought about writing your story down? Passing on stories and traditions to your children and grandchildren helps to preserve your legacy, and don't worry if you don't think you've lived a very exciting life. My kids like the simple stories. They like how I tell them about my mom driving a school bus and she used to let my oldest daughter ride on the bus with her or my twin daughters used to benefit from her breaks in the school day because she would come over with the hugest apple and the three of them would sit down and eat it together. My daughters remember how much she loved giving gifts at Christmas and she was known as the doughnut grandma. My cousin and one of my daughters are very interested in ancestrycom and it's really sad to know that one and three adults couldn't name any of their great grand parents. I believe knowing more about who we are, where we came from, can help us learn more about...

...ourselves. You could also get a DNA test. They are relatively inexpensive and very easy, and these tests can help identify the regions of the world where your family came from. You might be surprised to find out what you thought your roots were that aren't really your roots at all. You can write down your family traditions, even if you no longer do them. Traditions give us all a sense of belonging. Think about some of the family traditions you had as a child when my children were younger. But the holidays we would decorate cookies, we would make holiday crafts. I've even taught them little dances to perform for the family at Christmas and one year they all took a part in reciting part of a Christmas poem. You can also write down your family stories. Do you have a family member who lived through something extraordinary? May Be performed on Broadway, lived through a catastrophic event? Think how great it would be to capture these stories for future generations. Another idea is to pass along...

...skills. So we were visiting with a friend and his wife and they were telling us about a neighbor couple and he did fantastic woodworking. He is becoming quite age now and in poor health, with no children to pass on the skill. It's sad to think that it stops with him. I know my husband has so many fund memories of fishing with his GRANDPA and his father. He has been very active hunting and fishing with his own boy ways and he's dying for our grandson to come up this summer so he can take him fishing. You can also write down family recipes. It might be fun to gather up all your family recipes, make multiple copies and preserve them in a binder. Someone I follow on instagram recently shared a website where you can send in a recipe and they will carve it onto a cutting board. I just thought that was so cool. We have some old cook books of Brian's late Grandma and she has some handwritten things in there. I just get such a kick...

...out of looking at these recipes. I only have one written in my own mother's handwriting and someone recommended that I frame it. I just love that. It's such a sweet idea. All Right, family photos. I know most of us keep all of our pictures on our phones these days and it's a little sad the older ones I do have printed are all in boxes out in my garage and storage. But wouldn't it be great to revive the family photo album? Maybe once per month you could pick a few of your favorite photos from your phone and actually print them, but be sure to write down the date and who it is in the photos, so remember for years to come. I have some of my mom's old photos and I have no idea who some of the people are in the picture. But don't let this happen to your children and great grandchildren and hate. While you're at this task, why not write a little family history book and write a few notes down about what's going on with your family at that time? If you love to write a Christmas letter each year, you won't even have to rely on your memory. You can just refer back to your entries each month. Start a family tree.

Are you the one in your family that is interested in Ancestrycom if your family is lacking that person, maybe it can be you. You can begin by listing information on everyone you know about and how they're all connected. And if you still have older living relatives, I put they would be thrilled at the idea of being asked to help out with this history. Okay, friend, our time together today is coming to a close. I wanted to leave you with this quote. It says everyone must leave behind something when he dies. My grandfather said, a child or a book or painting, or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made or a garden planted, something you have touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die and when people look at that tree or that flower you have planted, you're there and that's by raper at bury. Friend, I hope today's episode inspired you to think about your own legacy, to think about nurturing it,...

...to think about preserving it. I would love to hear your stories about your family's legacy. Please join me in our private facebook group. I'll leave a link in the show notes, or head on over to instagram. Join me there. I'd love to hear from you. Until next time, friend, please remember to take good care of you. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you and go today's conversation as much as I did. If you'd like to continue the conversation, come on over and join our private facebook group what women want today. I'd love to hang out with you some more there. Any resources mentioned in today's episode will be in the show notes. You can find me on facebook and Instagram at what women want to day podcast, or visit my website at what women want to daycom please remember to subscribe, download and share. Leave me a review. It helps other amazing women find the show and become a member of our community. One last...

...thing for you today. You are not alone. You are worthy of love and a fulfilled life. Now it's time to go after it.

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