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What Women Want Today
What Women Want Today

Episode 61 · 8 months ago

When NOT making a decision is IN FACT, making a decision

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

On Today's Episode we are talking about DECISION FATIGUE

A lot of women talk about brain fog during midlife, but is there more at play here?

Research shows we are making about 35,000 decisions every day! That's a lot of mental energy.

Today I will share some symptoms and behavior that may indicate you are experiencing DECISION FATIGUE.

I will also share some simple strategies for reducing that fatigue.

Remember to share today's episode with a friend!

If you have a favorite quote about Decisions you'd like to share send it to me on FACEBOOK or INSTAGRAMor you can always email me terri@terrikellums.com 

Hello and welcome to what women on today podcast. You might be asking yourself right about now. Well, what do women want? I mean we're pretty complex creatures right. Well, I think we weren't it all, and I'm here to explot with you. My name is Terry Kellums. I'm your host. Go grab your favorite beverage. I've already got my glass of wine, and let's get started. If you're a Midlife is anything like mine, it hasn't shown any signs of slowing down. Hello and welcome today's episode of what women went today podcast. I'm your host and coach for Midlife women looking for fulfillment by exploring and discovering your passions and purpose and digging into what's holding you back. Today we're talking about decision fatigue, and yes, it's a real thing. Friend, here is my question for you today. If you made a list of things that have changed in Midlife for you, with the ability to make decisions show up on that list, have you just chugged it off...

...as brain fog? Well, it could be brain fog, but there is more at play sometimes. I have a friend WHO's a few years ahead of me in this midlife season, and she shared with me once that she used to be able to make decisions quickly and easily, and then found herself at a department store one day trying to buy some new towels and could not make an easy decision about what brand and color she wanted to buy. Today I'm going to share some common signs of Dis stidge and fatigue and I'm going to share some solutions to help with that fatigue. In past episodes of the podcast and on social media, I've shared that my husband and I have been building a house in the Phoenix area for about the last three years. Originally, it was supposed to be our home that would accommodate Brian's grandma, as she is aging and we wonder how much longer she'll be able to reside in her home without some assistance. You know, we just worry about her being there alone all the time. Anyway, after a couple of job transfers that have...

...required US moving to opposite ends at the State of Arizona, we are in the final stages of the building process and I now refer to that house as the flip house, because we are also applying for building permits in our new location so that we can build home here. I know some of our friends and family, and maybe even you, are probably asking why not just buy an existing home? Why go through all that again? And believe me when I say why not indeed. But it's my husband's thing, as the saying goes, so I'm just trying to roll with it and keep my sanity intact. So, after three years of many setbacks, including a microburst that destroyed the framing, we literally had to start all over again. So from Labor shortages, material shortages, not to mention rising material prices, I'm kind of over it, but I really can't be, because as there are still lighting...

...decisions to make and bathroom tile and flooring to pick out, cabinet pulls, I'm sure you get the idea. Just as recent as this morning, as we are sitting down to drink our coffee, he asked me about garage lighting, you know, the kind that on the ceiling, and my brain just wanted to shut down. I felt like saying I don't really give a flying fig about the lighting in the garage, but I kind of like being married. So I kept my grumpy thoughts to myself and I instead replied, well, what are you thinking over the past three years we have disagreed over a linen closets, bathroom storage and whether or not a family with young children would like a bathtub in their bathroom. I'm just I just want the whole process to be behind us. I'm sure you can probably relate to that. We all face so many decisions every day, from simple ones like what to eat for lunch, two more complicated decisions that involve our emotional, financial and physical...

...well being. Research says that we are making about thirty five thousand decisions every day in varying degrees of importance. So throwing your hands up in the air and saying whatever, it's not an option. Trust me, I've tried it a couple times, but I've also found myself making a decisions then later wonder how I ever thought it was a good idea in the first place. So what happens when we get overwhelmed and stressed is sometimes we just want to make a quick decision so that we can get it over with, get it behind us, or sometimes we just shut down on together. Stress plays a huge role in our behaviors. During these times when we become overwhelmed, we often make poor decisions due to the fatigue of too many decisions, and it doesn't get easier as the day goes along. So let me share some symptoms of decision fatigue. Low Mental Energy, so the brain will look for short cuts,...

...reckless and or impulsive decision making, unhealthy and unproductive choices, stress, overwhelmed and, yes, irritability. And here are some behaviors you might find yourself involved with when experiencing decision fatigue. Procrastination, I'll just tackle this later. IMPULSIVITY, rock paper scissors, anyone? Avoidance, I just can't deal with this right now. Indecision. When in doubt, just say no. However, keep in mind that sometimes not making a decision is indeed making a decision. The job you couldn't decide whether to apply for or not, it's been filled. The house she wanted it's been sold, the vehicle is no longer available, all of the seats on the flight you wanted are sold out, all of the volunteer positions you were considering have now been filled, the dress you wanted sold out and, if your size, the Washer and dryer...

...are now on back order. So what are we to do then? I have some solutions for you to consider, but first I want to share today's podcast review. This one comes from Nola girl, one thousand six hundred and eighty nine, and she says exactly what women want. Terry is gold. I'm so glad this podcast is here and I can't wait to hear more. Thanks, Nola girl. I'm glad you're enjoying the podcast. Eliminating even the smallest daily decisions have impact. If you had a picky toddler, you probably remember this tactic. Would you like to wear the red shirt or the green one? Would you like to eat cereal for breakfast or toast? So let's start with clothing. Clothing decisions. You know, I'm sure you've heard this. Steve Job wore black shirts and jeans every day. I remember reading an article years ago about a woman that switched to wearing all black and white pieces.

She never had to worry every day if something matched or not. I have a friend who will get her outfits together for the entire week on Sundays. And here's a funny story from when I worked in my corporate job. So I was training a class and one of the gentlemen in this particular class, he was just a hoot. He was always making me laugh with his stories every day. One day he comes in and says, Terry, I woke up to day and I put on my Thursday outfit. A bit distracted, I just looked over it. When I smiled and said look and Sharp, Ignacio, he said, notary, you don't understand today's Wednesday. You can't wear your Thursday outfit on Wednesday. I like laughed and I waited for him to leave to he was dead serious. So apparently this works all right. The next one is food decisions. Making a mealist and grocery shopping takes the decision making out of the way for the week. As much as I...

...really do not enjoy grocery shopping, taking the time to do this once at the beginning of the week is now one less daily decision to make. You can even take this one step further and do your meal prep. Or you can take your lunch to work, and that eliminates deciding where to go every day. Bonuses you avoid lunchtime traffic. You might even know someone who eats the same breakfast or lunch every day. I think I ate yogurt with fruit for breakfast almost every day for three years. So limiting your option clears up your mental energy your mental energy and headspace for the tougher decisions that you have to make, if you clean toilets on Tuesdays and you do laundrey on Sundays, if you always do your strink training workouts Monday, Wednesday Friday and do cardio on other days. And then let's talk about decision sharing. This one might be my favorite. Can someone else make the decision? I'm pretty easy going the majority of the time, so, unless I'm hungry for something very...

...specific, I don't mind if he picks the restaurant. I don't mind if you decides what hotel we stay out while we're traveling. When I was in the corporate world, I would give my team parameters around meeting agendas and team engagement activities and then let them grow in their roles by making these decisions. All right. Number four is the value based decisions. There may be decisions you can run through your value system. So here's an example. Let's say you're a consultant and you've been asked to consider a contract, but then you find out that the company has been involved in several lawsuits that show a pattern of dishonest practices in the workplace. If you hold honesty and integrity high on your list of value system. You simply make the decisions to stay true to your values and move on to the next contract offer. Decision made. All right. So number five planning your decisions. What's your week look like?...

Plan on the times when you have time to make tougher decisions and try to do it early in the day. We definitely will all have times, like my husband and I are going through right now, where we are going to have to make a lot of decisions, and sometimes just me saying to my husband, Hey, I'm feeling a little overloaded with all this. Let's just take a break and have some downtime. So just remember when you're going through a season like ours, take time for fun, for laughter, get massage, meditate or take a nap to get a break from the mental fatigue that comes with having to make a lot of decisions. You can even try journaling to empty out some of your thoughts. Okay, friend, we have reached the end of our time together today and I wanted to share today's quote. It was a tough one to pick. There are so many good ones. If you have a favorite, send it to me on instagram or facebook, or even email it to me. I will make sure to put the links in the show notes for today's episode. So today's quote is by Theodore Roosevelt...

...and this is what he has to say. In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing and the worst thing you can do is nothing. Thanks for making the decision to be here with me today. Until next time, please remember to take good care of you. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you enjoyed today's conversation as much as I did. If you'd like to continue the conversation, come on over and join our private facebook group what women want today, and love to hang out with you some more there. Any resources mentioned in today's episode will be in the show notes. You can find me on facebook and Instagram at what women want to day podcast, or visit my website at what women want to Daycom please remember, just subscribe, download and share. Leave me a review. It helps other amazing women find the show and become a member of our community. One last thing for you today. You are not alone. You are worthy of love and...

...a fulfilled life. Now it's time to go after it.

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